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I'm hurt, embarrassed, ashamed, and angry at what happened with this guy, help please(kind of long)?

I'm hurt, embarrassed, ashamed, and angry at what happened with this guy, help please(kind of long)? Topic: Homework anytime help
June 15, 2019 / By Ronalda
Question: Friday: (I'm a guy by the way) So this past Friday I went to a house party with my one and only really friend at the university I go to. When we got there everything was okay until she went out back to talk with somebody. I was left standing there at the threshold of the kitchen and living. I'm kind of a shy person at first so I was just keeping to myself just standing there looking around with my arms crossed. So then this typical jock guy who was on the couch sitting around all these girls said to me, "Why aren't you mingling with the ladies, man?" I've come along way from hiding who I am from people and I was at a point in my life if somebody asked something relating to my sexuality I was going to be honest so I said, "I'm not into that." Then he said, "Oh! So you're just a ******?" I was shocked! I was also embarrassed that all eyes were on me and everything was quiet and then people started laughing; mind you, I'm in a very liberal community. I was so hurt and embarrassed that my only thing to do was to walk out. So I walked down the stairs and across the grass on verge of tears. I texted my friend: Sorry, gotta go! Saturday: school was out so I was walking around campus and I saw the guy. He saw me but I turned around and walked the other day. Sunday: I talked to my friend about what happened and she said, "Just get over it." So I tried but I can't help how I feel. That was my first party in a while and I felt so humiliated. Monday: I was walking from class and I guess that guy from the party and I have common classes just different schedules. He was walking past me and I kind of tried to make myself unnoticeable and then next thing I know he grabbed my arm and tried to stop me he was like can we talk. I didn't say anything I just kept walking..I DID NOT WANNA TALK TO HIM. So then a couple hours later I was on campus outside doing homework. So then I'm on a bench and then he sits down right next to me. He goes, "man, I just wanna say I'm really sorry about what I said on Friday." I go, "Okay." My guard is still up...and then he goes, "Doing homework?" I said, "Yep!" and he leaned over to look at it and said, "Need some help?" I did...so I said, "Maybe." I took him for a dumb jock but quickly found out that he's very smart. He helped me out a lot. By the time the hour was over I kind of let my guard down. As he was getting up to leave he lied down a piece of paper and said, If you ever wanna hang out text me or call me. It was his number. Tuesday: I was walking to my dorm room, started to get dark out, and then I feel an arm swing around my shoulders and it's him. He goes, "What's up buddy?" By this time I'm kind of smiling because no athletic, jock, tall, girl-getter kind of guy has ever put his arms around my shoulders before..but I assumed it was just a friendly thing. So we started talking...he didn't keep his arms around me just for like 5 seconds. So then he was like u wanna go back to my dorm and hang out? I was like, "Why?" He said, "I still feel bad for what I did and I wanna become friends." So I was like...okay. And so we were in his dorm and we were sitting on his couch. He goes, "Show me what you got." I'm confused so I say, "What are you talking about?" Then he says something like, "You're cute, and my buddies aren't going to be here anytime soon. So then I immediately assume he wants to do something sexual....and I get kind of turned on because he's really cute and then I rubbed his leg and then I ended up giving him a *******. :( I feel sooooo ashamed of myself now! Wednesday: I still feel ashamed of myself! I saw him on campus and he looked my way as he was walking to class and he just passed me! I feel like I'm used and I'm so dumb for even giving in to him! I feel like he just wanted to use me then discard me. I texted him too really early today and he hasn't texted me back. Not only did I see him once, I saw him again around night time. We were in a cafe, I was with my friend and he was across the cafe. He walked out of the cafe, PAST ME (right behind me) and didn't even acknowledge me even though he saw me come in and kept glancing at each other. He's totally changed from the first two days. How do I get over this? I feel disgusting that I even gave him a ******* and that I even put my guard down! Idk .... I just feel so sad right now. I kind of got my days out of order so don't mind that! And btw am I a whore?! :( I only knew the guy for 1 1/2 days and I did something sexual with him. EW. I feel so disgusted with myself, I never thought I'd do something like that.
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Best Answers: I'm hurt, embarrassed, ashamed, and angry at what happened with this guy, help please(kind of long)?

Molly Molly | 5 days ago
He treated you like he probably does most his women. I would just let go of the regret you have for what you did, nothing you can change about it. Just stop texting him etc., take it for what it is, live and learn. Be glad he didn't video tape it and put it online, never know these days. EDIT- I don't consider one time a whore, only if you repeated this type of behavior all the time.
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Molly Originally Answered: I'm hurt, embarrassed, ashamed, and angry at what happened with this guy, help please(kind of long)?
He treated you like he probably does most his women. I would just let go of the regret you have for what you did, nothing you can change about it. Just stop texting him etc., take it for what it is, live and learn. Be glad he didn't video tape it and put it online, never know these days. EDIT- I don't consider one time a whore, only if you repeated this type of behavior all the time.

Linnie Linnie
Hon, straight boys use us like this all the time. You're not a whore, but he just wanted a bl*wjob and you didn't see that due to your inexperience. Hey, I AM a slut. I would have hooked up with him, but I'd understand what's cooking. He can't be seen talking to you, but will let you play with him when he wants it. There's nothing wrong with that, and if you like the role, go for it. Friends with benefits is cool, and it doesn't sound he is against cuddling a bit, that's nice. Intimacy can boost your confidence and self-esteem for when you're ready to move on to a serious relationship. Feel free to contact me if you think you need more insight. Auntie Kookoo
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Kalla Kalla
Umm yeah that's what most of the guys on this planet are like. Just forget about him, don't worry what happened with you two either. You are not a whore at all. don't feel ashamed, believe me most of the people I know have done a lot more shameful stuff than that! cheer up :)
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Haidee Haidee
There's not much to say.... He's a typical douchebag who just uses girls and guys for sex. You gave into that so who cares. College is all about mingling like that and the next day it's like you dont even know them. Guy or girl. Just be safe. Good luck
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Haidee Originally Answered: I get really angry.so mad that i hurt myself because no one understands. I can't vent my anger help please.?
I was so impressed by the courage it must have taken for you to write this question to strangers. How upsetting that the people who are supposed to love you can't seem to understand your feelings. I could really picture what's going on by your good description, and I think I'd feel upset too. The only problem is, as you eloquently expressed, is that displaying your angry emotions isn't helpful or productive and may even make things worse. It's pretty telling that your parents have those anger habits. They have done a good job of modeling unproductive behavior and not such a good job of showing you how mature people handle adversity. Your tough choice is going to be whether you want to follow them down that road or start a new existence for yourself where you take on the job of training yourself to behave as a mature adult so that you don't have to automatically reflect the dysfunctional portions of your upbringing. I don't know whether you can get hold of a book that I have, called "The Anger Workbook" by Les Carter and Frank Minirth. It's really good, but certainly there are others; and I just looked in the Yahoo search for Anger Management and there are a great many articles that have helpful suggestions for replacing outbursts with more considered behavior. This is a hard thing to ask of a teenager with very immediate concerns. It would require you to be 10 times more mature than everyone around you. It would mean that you have to put your own wishes aside sometimes, and overcome your impulses a lot, and ignore hurtful and obnoxious things that seem designed to drive you crazy. Hard? Yes. Worth it? Very much. This is what you might call investing in your future, rather than doing the normal kid thing of complete self-centered life. Why do I even bother mentioning it to you? Because I already have a strong feeling that you are not just an ordinary girl, and you might just have what it takes to do it differently. I've already started praying for you, and I do know that whatever strength you may not feel you have, God has and will gladly give it to you. Hang in there! I wish I were right there to listen to you and encourage you, but you can pretend I am and of course God will be listening too.

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