Can one go against his mother?
Topic: Are one of the sister wives leaving
May 26, 2019 / By Ivy Question:
My mother and my wife never got along. Recently my wife gave birth to a son who i am thrilled and in love with. Following the birth my mother watched him several times on one particular occassion she left him outside and he got his whole left side of the face sunburn. My wife when saw was furious and now i am caught between mother and my wifes whole family war. She constantly talks negative remarks against my mother and wants to press charges against her. She also wants my mother to pay for the medicine and the countless of doctors we been too since he got sunburn. The sunburn incident was an accident and now it tore me apart from both of my families. My wife is on the verge of leaving me if i dont take some kind of action. I am really fed up with all of the fights but dont feel that i need to go against my own mother.
What would you guys do
Best Answers: Can one go against his mother?
Ellie | 8 days ago
Ok.. I've been in your situation (being the wife) and trust me sometimes mother in laws can be pretty mean behind their son's backs.
My husband and I had this problem going in the first year of our marriage. We had tons of fights thanks to my MIL showing at our place without a phone call first and always trying to make decisions about how we were going to live our life and even about our place which she didn't live at.
Everytime we had a fight my husband would run to her and tell her what happened. She would then tell him what to do to solve the problem and tell him not to say that it was her idea but his. Then she would call me as soon as my husband left her house and tell me what she just told him to do. My husband would get home tell me he had time to think things throught and that he had an idea. Of course his mom just called me to tell me it was HER idea. We would start the fight all over again even worse than before. Do you see what her intentions were?
My MIL kept lying to my husband and he would believe just about any crap she said until one day she lied so bad that she couldn't keep her lies straight and my husband realized that all this time I have been complaining for a reason.
Needless to say it got even worse to the point that my husband decided it was best to get away from his family for a while. With time I was the one who started to bring my husband closer to his family again. They haven't change a thing but they can no longer control our marriage and my husband and I make our decisions.
Honestly I would be pretty upset if my MIL left my daughter outside to the point that she got sunburn. You really have to get your priorities straight. You might not realize it but if your wife leaves you trust me you will be miserable without her and your baby.
Once a man gets married his priority should always be his wife and kids. The bible even says that a man should leave his family to be with his wife.
Don't hate your mother because that's not right. Talk to your wife and tell her you get it but that you need her to quit talking bad about your mother. She does have a right to get mad because your mother neglected her child. Accidents happen all the time but your description really gives me the impression that it was no accident. I take care of my sister in law's baby girl for free and I would never and I mean never leave the baby unattended outside with the sun on her face. I don't even leave the baby alone unless she is in a safe place such as the basinet and even then I come and check back on her constantly. No reason why that should of happen to your baby.
Don't hurt your wife even more by having doubts about what you should do.
Trust me no matter how much I tried my mother in law never wanted to work things out unless we were doing it her way. That of course meant that I needed to accept all her conditions and do as she says. My answer to that... KISS MY BUTT!
I don't treat her bad and try really hard to shut my mouth when I have something negative to say. I would not press charges againts her but definitely make sure that this doesn't happen again. Let her see your baby but at least until the baby is a little older I would suggest you don't leave him in her care. Not trying to be mean just careful.
To all the people who are saying that your mother could do no wrong perhaps they don't have any children or have never experienced the situation.
It's not an easy task. Neither it has to be the worse of your life. You can continue to have a relationship with your mother but just don't let her have any saying in your marriage. I understand that she is your mom and you need to respect her but really... why should your wife have to put up with it when she only agreed to marry YOU and no one else in your family.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
👍 184 | 👎 8
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We found more questions related to the topic: Are one of the sister wives leaving
Originally Answered: If you say holy mary mother of God, and then obey the commandment honor your mother and father?
Mother of God
This simple statement of fact should be a "case closed" situation that could be argued with a classic syllogism:
Jesus is God
Mary is the mother of Jesus
Mary is the mother of God
BUT some people still balk at referring to Mary as God's mother. The only way they can get around that fact, though, is to do one of the following:
deny that Christ is God (heresy);
deny that He is both fully human and fully God and that those two natures are in perfect hypostasis and can't be divided (heresy);
deny that Jesus is the Son of Mary (heresy); or
claim that Jesus was God before His incarnation, but not while He was in the flesh (heresy).
Luke 1:43 tells us of Elisabeth greeting Mary with, "And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" It's all very simple.
Does this mean she is the Mother of God, the Father? No.
Is she the Mother of God, the Holy Spirit? No.
But she is the Mother of Jesus, Who is God. She is the Mother of His human nature, not His divine nature -- but these two natures are now, since the Incarnation, in perfect union and cannot be separated. Jesus is not a "collection of parts" and "natures"; He is a Person.
To say that Mary can't be the Mother of God because she isn't the Mother of His divinity is to say that your own mother can't be your mother because she didn't create your eternal soul.
You are a person -- body and soul -- and your mother is your mother.
You wouldn't say, "My mother isn't really 'my mother'; she's only the mother of my body." It is the same with Jesus, Who is fully human and fully divine -- Who is God.
I can understand why your wife reacted like that. Of course, every Mom the moment they saw their child accidentally hurt like in the case of your baby, that would be totally freaking out! But, as what you've said it was an accident and there's no else that you can do to bring back the past. Despite of what had happen there's no need for you to hate your Mother. You know to tell you, no Mother I guess that would be praying that their child will be at stake. Every Moms do always hoping for the best and good health for their child as your wife does. Maybe, on this scenario you and your wife could blame your Mother but again it was and accident and nobody wants that thing to be happen, neither your Mom. The best thing that you can do is to talk to your Mom after which talk to your wife and make her realize that no Moms in this world wanted their child to be stake.
👍 70 | 👎 2
Well, I think that your wife got a little crazy, BUT she did have a right to be mad. When someone is supposed to be watching your baby they should take responsibility for it. I mean how long was the baby out there for? But I don't think that your mother should have to pay for Dr. bills and medicine and such. A simple apology to your WIFE, not YOU should be sufficient. Now if your wife is planning to leave you, it cannot be just because of this, there are some deep seeded problems that you guys need to work out. But remember she is the mother of your child, she loves that child more than life itself and she needs you to back her up when it comes to the childs safety.
👍 63 | 👎 -4
Your wife's going a bit overboard, but it's her first baby, so of course she is going to be overprotective and all that. But I wouldn't leave the kid with your mom again. To get a sunburn that bad means she probably left the baby, possibly alone, in the yard for several hours. And that is just not okay.
And when you get married, you stick with your wife. You don't bow to mommy when you're a freaking adult.
👍 56 | 👎 -10
first of all i want to know how severe this sunburn is to have had this much affect on the child? second of all how long was he left outside alone to have received such a terrible burn? leaving a child alone outside for any reason is not an accident especially if they are unable to fend for themselves and feel they are burning and to get out of the sun!!! your mother should not have left the child in the sun for this amount of time and yes your wife has every right to be mad.
👍 49 | 👎 -16
It was an accident! Your Mother did mess up, but it's not like she let your child die! If your wife is threatening to leave you over this your marriage wont last, you haven't seen anything yet! Your Mother should pay the medical bills, but your wife needs to lighten-up. Jeez, what happened to letting kids play all day outside and get bumps and scrapes? Have we become a country of wimps? It wouldn't take long for an infant to get sun-burn, their skin isn't as use to the sun as an adults.
👍 42 | 👎 -22
Speaking from your wifes point of view. I have a mother-n-law that I can not stand. Sounds like something she would do. I was very mean and judgmental at first to my husband. My husband talked to me about it though. Not in a fight but just talked to me about how it was tearing him up to hear me talk so bad about his mom. he knows his mom is not perfect, and does a lot of weird and wacky things, but it is still his mom. I don't think you should have to go against your wife or you mom. Come to a compromise. Talk to your mom, see if she can help pay any of the bills, talk to your wife and tell her how bad she is hurting you. Don't let her press charges though. That is to extreme. Just try to get your wife to see how bad all this makes you feel!
👍 35 | 👎 -28
Originally Answered: Can you help? I need ideas for Mother's Day for my special Mother?
Make her something. Get a picture of the two of you and write a poem or find a poem online put pretty paper (can even use wraping paper) behind it and frame it. She will love it. You can also go to walmart and buy scrapbook paper and some pretty stickers, poem sheets and stuff about moms put them togather with a picture or two and frame it...she will love it....Nothing says Love to a mom more than homemade stuff from their kids (no matter how old they are)