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Is this a good start to my book? rate 1-10?

Is this a good start to my book? rate 1-10? Topic: How to make a paper tree with branches
May 26, 2019 / By Heleen
Question: I was running,fighting my way through the impending clouds of black smoke and lingering flames. I knew that deep in my demolished heart that the man with crazy blue hair wasn't far behind. Tears stained my sunken eyes, but they were out of hate not sadness. I didn't know how much longer my lungs could hold before they collasped. It also didnt help that i was coughing up blood, drinking in the posion of the smoke and allowing stray flames to singe the frabrics of my shirt. Suddenly i dug the soles of my shoes into the earth below. A blue inflamed tree crackled in a array of tiny white sparks infront of me. the crunching sound of the roots being yanked out of the dirt screeched in my ears. I tumbled in a messy roll as i dodge the incoming tree of fire, the branch jabbed me in my cheeks. My eyes as if on cue fazed in and out of the grungy blood and flame surronding. Almost like a elongated blink in slow moion. The next thing i know im cascading down backwards with my hands sprayed towards the star-light night........ continues on from here plz rate and costrutive critisim welcomed. and sorr if there any spelling mistakes. i am like really tired and im trying to make sense of the piece of paper with all my notes and rough draft lol. CHAPTER 1 is called Into the inferno -chessy right lol not good with names- I DID NOT WANT TO POST ALL OF THE BOOK OK LOL BUT THNKS FOR THE ANSWERS LOL
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Best Answers: Is this a good start to my book? rate 1-10?

Drusilla Drusilla | 5 days ago
I'm not quite sure where ur plot is going. Perhaps when u finish the inferno scene u could introduce ur character/narrator and tell us why the man with the blue hair(?) is chasing him in the first place, where the fire is exactly (I thought it was inside a home until I read abt the tree...). The word "impending" doesn't really fit where it's at. Maybe u should rephrase ur sentence a little bit and make it like "impending doom" or something like that. I think u need 2 look up some of the words u used so as 2 put them 2 better use, such as the word lingering and demolished. U wouldn't really call a heart demolished if u really thought about it. These r just a few suggestions. U really need 2 carefully comb thru ur work and take out all those words that don't make sense and perhaps replace them with more suitable words... Hope it works out for u. :-)
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Drusilla Originally Answered: Does this seem like a good start for a book?
You're missing the Prologue - the question you wish to address has be asked first of all. (All non-fiction books have a question - even if it's just "How do you grow a good allotment?" "How do you make tasty food?" "What was life in this war like?" etc) Chp 1 - OK, but keep it brief, as it just explaining how your question works, not addressing the answer you wish to make The trick is what order chps 2 & 3 should be in. You have to make your case, then support it. Is chp 3 really a supporting argument for chp 2? It just seem to me that the topic covered in chp 2 seems like the supporting argument for chp 3, in which case, they're the wrong way round. Chp 4 - you concluding answer to the question (which you forgot to put in your prologue) Interesting topic, by the way. (I'm saying that as an atheist). But you posed this in the wrong category. Putting it in this category's just gonna get you slated, not positive feedback on book writing.
Drusilla Originally Answered: Does this seem like a good start for a book?
Watchman Nee already wrote a book called Spiritual Authority. You may want to read that before you start chapter 1.

Ceara Ceara
It sounds good. Maybe an 8? Other names for the chapter could be "Through the Flames" "Clouds of Black" "Burnt Toast" I was just kidding about the last one. Good luck writing! It sound good.
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Annemarie Annemarie
I really like it! There were a few grammatical errors (missing apostrophes, wrong wording, etc.) but nothing too serious that can't be fixed with a second run through. I really liked it, it was thrilling and drew me in. Answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111028195610AAbSTvz
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Annemarie Originally Answered: Is this a good start for a book?
Ok, what I am about to say may seem harsh, but the basis of being a good author is to have well developed writing skills which are usually best developed under constructive criticism. So some things I noticed in the introduction: As I ran from him, the man with a brown paper bag on his head, with two holes where his eyes are This sentence is a fragment, and I'm sure that's exactly what a word processor will tell you. The start of the sentence 'As i ran from him,' does not fit with the rest of the sentence - the sentence starts off by introducing the action, then you describe what the action is caused by, but then you do not return to the action and the sentence does not make sense. Something more like: I ran from him, the man with the brown paper bag on his head, two holes where his eyes should be, my breathing was heavy and erratic, and sweat covered every inch of my exhausted body. Is it necessary to mention the location at this point? Maybe try to work it in differently rather than on it's own. Instead of 'He had a button-down...' use 'He wore a button-down...' I'm not sure how one gets crude wrinkles in their clothes, try using a different word. '...visual remembrance...' remembrance is the wrong word here, try changing this part of the sentence to something like 'Maybe he was my minds' own interpretation of Jason Voorhees...' Try not to use the classic '...' for a break in the sentence, use a dash instead - looks more professional while having the same effect, it ALMOST ends a sentence but still allows for the same track of thought to carry on without a full stop. ' I knew I was going to be caught by him eventually.' instead try 'I knew he would catch me eventually, but the adrenalin that thundered through my veins pumped my legs, not letting me give in yet.' In the last bit, where you say that he 'lurked towards you', lurked is the wrong word, it would usually imply that he was being stealthy in some way that you would not be aware of him. The '...' at the end could, too, be substituted for a dash. Okay, I'm not going to do that for the rest of the entry but just a few quick things: Start the paragraph off with the same dash as before, instead of the '...' Don't use brackets, work the information in the brackets into each sentence, this does not work for a novel, it breaks the readers focus with information that probably is useless anyway. Do we really need to know that he doesn't take morning showers? Or can you just state that he is taking a shower to calm down and wash the sweat off? Do we need to know that his eggs are scrambled? Can this be worked into the sentence? 'I turned the kettle on to boil some water for a much needed morning-coffee while my scrambled eggs cooked in the frying pan burning slightly.' Check for places where a comma needs to be used. In dialogue where he is talking to himself, try to shorten what he is saying, when ever you have said something to no one in particular do you use a full sentence structure like in this? Do not use capitals, put the words in italics instead, italics stresses words in a more professional looking manner. Last things are that you need to extend some of the bits in that chapter 1 part, not enough information is given to the reader and the cursory look that you give is very disjointed. Look at this and see where it can be broken into separate paragraphs, this will greatly improve how it reads by giving the reader a pause to take it all in. Hope this helps, the story is good so far, keep up the good work!

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