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Can someone grade my SAT essay from 0-12? Thanks so much?

Can someone grade my SAT essay from 0-12? Thanks so much? Topic: What is human rights essay
July 20, 2019 / By Haven
Question: Hey so I'm a sophomore in high school and i recieved a prompt regarding how catastrophes are often in relation to people not speaking out. I've never written an SAT essay before today and if you can read it and tell me what i need to improve on (or even offer some suggestions) i will be soo grateful. Human tragedies are often products of neglect; people failing to stand up for what is right. In fact, studies have shown that ones chance of receiving help from an outside source decrease as the number of witnesses increase. Whether its a classmate with food stuck between their teeth, allowing a friend to try out for American Idol regardless of their er... talent, it is human nature to be a bystander when circumstances arise because we believe "someone else will do it". For instance, the holocaust can be linked to the failure of countries to take action. Though the anti-semitism was vastly apparent throughout the world, it was not until a year later after the start of the Holocaust that America decided to intervene and take control. Indeed the entire globe knew about the genocide, but not one country decided to speak out and arbitrate. As a result of this neglect, millions were carelessly slaughtered paralleling the failure to take action. As apparent, if only one UN country decided to intrude Germany's slaughtering, it can easily be said that the Holocaust could have been prevented or drastically limited. Often times people refuse to speak out because they believe someone else will do it. For instance, in 1984, a woman named Kitty Genovese was beaten, stabbed, and raped for more than half an hour. She was ultimately left to die and the killer managed to escape. The catch? Horrifyingly, there were around 38 witnesses who watched the killing yet failed to intervene or even call 911. Nevertheless, the incentive to do something as easy as dialing a number to save a life is brushed aside simply because we always expect another will do it instead. The witnesses in the situation ALL believed that someone else would take action and therefore felt less responsible to speak up. Unfortunately, there are too many cases just like Kitty's paralleling the absence of taking action. Whether it be the life if Kitty Genovese or the millions dead by the holocaust, the neglect to take action by individuals will always have detrimental effects. Our failing to speak out reflects our society as a whole. Nevertheless, we must realize that if we don't take action, chances are, no one will.
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Best Answers: Can someone grade my SAT essay from 0-12? Thanks so much?

Doreen Doreen | 10 days ago
The American Idol bit: I would change "regardless of their er....talent" to "regardless of whether or not they have talent." Remember, it is an essay, not a conversation. Be sure and fact check your essay as well. The above responder uses percentages German soldiers killed to try and refute your "US taking charge" claim. The US didn't enter WWII until after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. The Holocaust was not a pretext to American involvement in the war. American involvement up until that point was the shipping of arms to other Allied nations....which kept other allies alive until America joined the war. Further, the United Nations didn't exist in WWII (it was the League of nations then), so you can't blame any UN country for not intervening...there were no UN countries at the time. Overall I'd say you've written a fairly good essay. Better than what a majority of high schoolers, and even many adults would be capable of. I'd give it a 9.
👍 228 | 👎 10
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We found more questions related to the topic: What is human rights essay


Doreen Originally Answered: Grade my essay? give me a percent grade please, and any comments you feel like saying?
You did a good job with this essay. You started off very strongly but I think you could have divided your first paragraph into two, after this "I realized that I wanted to be able to save people’s lives, I wanted to be a doctor". You have absolutely no spelling mistakes and your grammar is perfect, except when you say "their were children". I would say work on organizing your thoughts more, you obviously have really nice ideas here but you need to lay them out more clearly and not jump from one point to the other then back. In this sentence: "Over time these feelings must have dulled" try not to use "must" s it seems a little harsh, use "might" instead. You also didn't post your entire essay so I hope you did a good job on your conclusion. I would give it an 85% because improvements can be made.

Cassiah Cassiah
Hey so I'm a sophomore in high school and i recieved a prompt regarding how catastrophes are often in relation to people not speaking out. I've never written an SAT essay before today and if you can read it and tell me what i need to improve on (or even offer some suggestions) i will be soo grateful. Human tragedies are often products of neglect; people failing to stand up for what is right. In fact, studies have shown that ones chance of receiving help from an outside source decrease as the number of witnesses increase. Whether its a classmate with food stuck between their teeth, allowing a friend to try out for American Idol regardless of their er... talent, it is human nature to be a bystander when circumstances arise because we believe "someone else will do it". the 2nd paragraph does have evidence but it can be longer, or it will be confused as a second part of your thesis/main idea/position. so it looks like you did 2 really great paragraphs for evidence and the conclusion/intro is great i would say 10/12 because of the confusing structure for 1st and 2nd paragraph
👍 90 | 👎 4

Anna Anna
Whether it be the life of* Firstly (not being from America myself), im not sure what SAT's equivalence are, if you will. My initial thoughts were that your writing is structured, to the point, and flows well. There are a couple of 'sloppy' expressions, some might say, and the vocabulary is mediocre. Assuming that SAT's are taken in high school (around 15-16 dependant on what state you live in) I would give it 8/12. *Also, you say "America decided to intervene and take control". 83% of Nazi's killed in the war were the result of troops from the USSR. Rougly 11% Britain, 5% America, and 1% other Allied countries
👍 81 | 👎 -2

Windsor Windsor
hi so i'm a sophomore in extreme college and that i recieved a instant related to how catastrophes are frequently in terms of persons no longer conversing out. i've got by no skill written an SAT essay in the past at present and in case you are able to examine it and tell me what i could desire to advance on (or maybe furnish some strategies) i'll be soo grateful. Human tragedies are frequently products of forget; people failing to stand up for what's suitable. in actuality, analyze have shown that ones risk of receiving help from an outdoors source shrink with the aid of fact the form of witnesses advance. whether its a classmate with food caught between their tooth, permitting a chum to objective for American Idol regardless of their er... skills, it relatively is human nature to be a bystander whilst circumstances upward push up with the aid of fact we have confidence "somebody else will do it". the 2d paragraph does have information notwithstanding it incredibly is longer, or it will be puzzled as a 2nd element of your thesis/substantial concept/place. so it sounds as though such as you probably did 2 relatively super paragraphs for information and the top/intro is super i could say 10/12 with the aid of complicated shape for 1st and 2d paragraph
👍 72 | 👎 -8

Windsor Originally Answered: 8TH GRADE ESSAY! Is my persuasive essay good or bad?
It is a little bit short. Extracurricular is one word. Not the world's greatest topic but for being in 8th grade, I would say that you are a talented writer. Don't worry about Josh's comment. You are a talented writer who will just get better in time.

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