Do you have some good advice for me?
Topic: I have good problem solving skills
July 22, 2019 / By Gwenneth Question:
So, I'll make it short cause my mom will be right back. Instead of going to school I went to the doctor today but didn't tell my mom, because it was because of my depression. I can't talk to my mom about it because all she hears is "You're a bad mother and it's you fault" even though I would never think something like that. Anyway the doctor and I decided to run a test because there might be a lack of iron in my blood. The results will be there on Monday and till then I won't be going to school. If there is nothing abnormal I will be institutionalized. I feel awful hiding this from my mother because I never lied to her before. The thing is that I had to leave the house and when I came back I saw that some had looked in my bag and pulled out the key that was in it and the doctor's note was right next to it. She probably saw it. Now she told my step-dad that she wants to go for a walk and will be right back. What should I do? I don't want her to know yet.
Best Answers: Do you have some good advice for me?
Dindraine | 1 day ago
There are two factors at work in this case. One is denial. No parent wants to think something is wrong with their child, especially something like mental illness which has so much stigma attached to it. They may feel guilty or deny what is happening because they feel helpless to take care of you, the way they used to be able to put a bandaid over a scraped knee. The second factor is lack of knowledge on their part. They are not alone in this – over 70% of adults surveyed believed that a depressed person just needed to pull himself/herself together. In this case, it’s not their fault that they don’t know enough about depression, and probably just need to be educated. Depression can happen to anyone at any age, and it should never be ignored.
I know this is difficult, but when you suffer from depression, milder or worse, it is always good to have a parent there for you, who can support you, and give you the love you need while going through this. You are hiding it from her now, which can easily increase any form of stress, and this will only make things worse. Once you present her with some information, and explain your situation calmly, she will probably be eager to support and help you.
Your health care provider will ask questions about your medical history and symptoms. Your answers and certain questionnaires can help your doctor make a diagnosis of depression and determine how severe it may be.
Blood and urine tests may be done to rule out other medical conditions with symptoms similar to depression.
In general, treatments for depression include:
- Medications, called antidepressants
- Talk therapy, called psychotherapy
If you have mild depression, you may only need one of these treatments. People with more severe depression usually need combination of both treatments. It takes time to feel better, but there are usually day-to-day improvements.
If you are suicidal or extremely depressed and cannot function you may need to be treated in a psychiatric hospital.
Talk therapy is counseling to talk about your feelings and thoughts, and help you learn how to deal with them.
Types of talk therapy include:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches you how to fight off negative thoughts. You will learn how to become more aware of your symptoms and how to spot things that make your depression worse. You'll also be taught problem-solving skills.
- Psychotherapy can help you understand the issues that may be behind your thoughts and feelings.
- Joining a support group of people who are sharing problems like yours can also help. Ask your therapist or doctor for a recommendation if you wish to join a group.
I wish you good luck, and get better! If you have any other questions, don't hesitate emailing me.
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Stop hiding the situation. Do not let it go any further then it already has,as it will all come out sooner or later,and will only make the talk harder to have. You as well will need a note for your school for your absences,today,as well any future days. She is your Mother bottom line here,and she loves you and cares about you,no matter the issues you disagree on. She needs to know how you are feeling,and will know it is serious just from the fact you have gone to the doctor,talk to her,now,and do not let this deception continue. All will be okay,be strong.
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"If there is nothing abnormal I will be institutionalized."...Why would you be institutionalized for depression. This is NOT 1940. There are medications for this ailment that can be taken at home. And you can remain at home even if counseling is needed. But if you Mom asks, just tell her the truth. Including the fact that you didn't want to worry her.
👍 70 | 👎 -11
If she hasn't found out yet, then don't tell her until you feel the need to.
If she HAS found out, then explain that it isn't her fault that you're depressed, but you went to the doctor (and all the other stuff you did).
She had to understand, she is your mother.
👍 70 | 👎 -17
I kind of get where you're coming from with the mom\step father thing. My mom hears the same type of things from me. If she has found out, calmly attempt to explain and admit that you made a mistake. If she doesn't know, try to talk it out with her a little. She's your mom, she'll love you either way:)
👍 70 | 👎 -23
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