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Read my college essay please?

Read my college essay please? Topic: Practice grading essays
July 16, 2019 / By Georgeanna
Question: It's my first draft, for Temple University. Honestly it was extremely hard for me to get all of this typed out because I just didn't know where to start. Temple is one of my top schools that I want to attend so this essay is VERY important because my ACT scores weren't that great so I need this to sort of make up for it. Basically I'm asking for help...honest reviews but please nothing too hurtful. I just want to write a good essay and I need help, thanks in advance. Life is always about trials and tribulations but, it depends on you to make the best out of it. I never learned the full extent of this until maturity and knowledge came my way. Every experience thrown at me was taken with a grain of salt. There wasn’t a moment where I doubted myself or gave up, it only made me stronger in which molded me to be the courageous, strong willed, and ambitious person I am today. When I was younger, growing up without a father was one of the biggest challenges of my life. At times when I needed him, he was never there. My mother gathered my brother and I, moving to America. My father was left behind and which caused the household burden to be placed on my mother only. Sometimes money would be so scarce, that we would be left wondering where to find our next meal. She worked long days and nights, with her head held high. Her motivation and integrity inspired me to want to pursue an education and strive towards success. In school, it was hard to concentrate sometimes due to my situation at home. It caused me to get distracted from my school work on occasions, which resulted in not so great grades. This discouraged me; I thought that I was trying so hard only to fail, but my mother always told me that, “Never give up because education is the only way out of poverty,” so I dusted myself off, etched my aspirations and goals into my mind and pushed forward. College is the biggest step, academically in anyone’s lives. It has always been my dearest goal to obtain a college degree. ---------------------------------------... ***Stopped there*** Early Action deadline is tomorrow so...I'm in sort of a rush.
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Best Answers: Read my college essay please?

Delinda Delinda | 7 days ago
Think in terms of intro, body, and conclusion -- what are you trying to prove, and what examples do you provide to support it? Approach a teacher or librarian with what you've written and ask for help. Be ready to take his/her advice, and plan on at least two heavy revisions. Writing is a skill. Practice, practice, practice. Don't confuse your craft with your story, or your story with your identity. Good luck!
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Delinda Originally Answered: Would anyone be willing to read my college application essay?
The fact that you would allow strangers to review your essay probably means that your essay is not personal enough, or that you do not care about others knowing personal things about you. The reason they call them personal statements is because the schools want to be able to catch a glimpse of your character in a writing medium. In general, no one can tell you what will or will not make a good essay because they tend to be rather subjective. I can, however, give you some advice on how to write an effective essay. Step 1. Stay on Topic, and Answer the Question. It is vital that you answer the question and stay on topic. One of the easy pits that application essays fall into is basic deviation from the subject. Everything you write in the essay must somehow relate to the topic of the question, and it mut be easily reckonizable. Step 2. It Must be Personal. I am not talking about revealing your darkest secrets here. You need to write a unique essay because general topics such as a class you loved, or a teacher that influenced you greatly have been written over and over, not to mention seen many times by the evaluators. Only write on a generic topic if there is something truly special about it. You want to pick something that might relate to your major - if you know what it is- or something you feel strongly about. Writing from your heart is much more powerful than any fabrication. 3. Dont worry about length. Although there may be restrictions on how long an essay can be, do not under any circumanstances think of that as a MINIMUM. If you put yourself in the evaluator's shoes, consider reading 100 1000 word essays that only needed to be 500 words each. If you are struggling to make the requirement, rethink what is really necessary in your paper. Don't fill it with junk, just get the point accross and be done with it, you will stand a better chance with that than filler. 4. Proof read, Re- Read and do it again. Get more than 3 people to read it, preferably english teachers/and or trusted friends. Getting a few sets of eyes on it will help get the kinks out, but be wary of the nature of what you are writing about. Read it outloud, does it sound correct? Find and use descriptive words, but do not under any cirumstances just use words out of a thesaurus casually, it won't fair well with the readers. Try to see if the whole thing flows. Is it easy to read or akward? Give your best effort and start early. Good luck.
Delinda Originally Answered: Would anyone be willing to read my college application essay?
it sucks. you'll never make it into college so just go apply at mcdonalds now and stop wasting your time
Delinda Originally Answered: Would anyone be willing to read my college application essay?
what if i take your essays and send them as mine? dude you should try checking them with your teachers, not with a bunch of strangers...
Delinda Originally Answered: Would anyone be willing to read my college application essay?
sure s p r e c t a t o r "at" y a h o o . c o m (take the spaces out and replace "at" by the @ symbol).

Delinda Originally Answered: E.B. White wrote an essay(about 1940 or so) that I read in college. "Once More to the Lake." It is about a
I told my daughter's about my house growing up. As I spoke, the house seriously sounded magical. As I described the house with its windows and doors, it almost sounded as if it had a face that came alive when we would wake each morning. I described the gardens.......the woods in the back with the railroad tie steps we made leading up to our swingset. I talked about the paths in the woods that we created that led to our private fort. I spoke of the room I called my own and how it was soooooooo big that I felt I was a princess with my own throneroom. A few years back, I went back to my hometown and drove my girls past my old house. They wanted to get out and walk through the woods. The trouble was, the woods that had been thick as a jungle as I grew up, were now cleared and more houses stood in its place. The paths were gone........the fort was no more. I turned to see that my house was painted a different shade, the railroad ties gone........the swingset long been removed. I could barely recognize that this was the shaded spot in the woods where I used to play pretend. The owner came walking out and spoke to us. After I explained that I had grown up in this house, he insisted that I bring the girls inside. I should have never done so. It was the hardest moment I could remember. The shell of the house was the same, but nothing inside remotely resembled the magical palace I had described to my daughters. The floors, the panelling, the kitchen.......totally remodeled. The bathrooms were unrecognizable. Walls torn down......new ones erected. As I walked past what was once my room, it looked so tiny. My throneroom was now an office space with technology all around. I had to smile as I remembered how I couldn't even talk my father into installing a phone jack in that room. Yes.....many things had changed. My girls were gracious and thanked the family for letting us tour the house. We all three drove away in silence. My precious girls didn't say a word. They knew me well enough to know that my heart was hurting.......longing for what once was......yet will never be again.
Delinda Originally Answered: E.B. White wrote an essay(about 1940 or so) that I read in college. "Once More to the Lake." It is about a
I have found that going back is always a disappointment. Because things are never the same. You left there as a child with a child's memories and return as an adult. You simply don't see the same view as most likely it has changed drastically, plus your child's imagination has probably been lost somewhere along the way too. I haven't had the chance to go back to a place where my children were small. I would enjoy that tremendously, because immediately you would remember it as it was when your own children were there, I think.
Delinda Originally Answered: E.B. White wrote an essay(about 1940 or so) that I read in college. "Once More to the Lake." It is about a
Yowee this exchange into you stayin up early/previous due sis. extraordinarily severe your piece is, and my first examine of the day sis. I nonetheless think of and hear echo's from a door slamming, seeming now see you later in the past and fading is the tangible photograph of you what is left is a hollow interior the wall, the place hangs my extreme heel shoe

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