My son is 11 and refuses to do schoolwork, HELP?
Topic: Do homework help students pay
May 26, 2019 / By Flurry Question:
He has always been an honor student, he is in a gifted class for Reading and Language, but this year he decided he didn't want to do anything. We have tried everything we can think of to help him, from taking everything away to bribery, but nothing has worked. Technically he has failed the fifth grade, but because of his size(5'2",115lbs) the school says it will be better to place him in the sixth grade. I have mixed feelings about this because he is very smart and can do the work, but doesn't this just reinforce the idea that he doesn't have to do the work?
He has been seeing the school counsler since before Christmas. We have had meetings with the principle, and his teachers numerous times. For a time he was not allowed to do ANYTHING, at home or at school--he has not had recess in the last four months of school. He would just stare off into space, only when I sat down beside him and told him every two seconds to do his work would it get done. He can do the work, he just WON'T. I can NOT sit there all afternoon every afternoon. My seven year old does have ADHD and I know that is what this sounds like, but I know the difference. He can pay attention when he wants to, he can read a good book cover to cover in a matter of a few days(were talking Harry Potter).
He is already the oldest kid in his class, because of the way his birthday falls. His B-day is mid-October. In the long run I think holding him back would only hurt him more.
Best Answers: My son is 11 and refuses to do schoolwork, HELP?
Dandrenor | 1 day ago
Beat his @55. he will lean. he may have to do his homework standing up... but he will learn.
Take everything away for the whole summer. curfew at 6 in his room, and i would keep him in the 5th grade, otherwise he is not paying any consciences for his actions. and what does that teach him? He is just pushing his boundries. you need to do something and stick with it not for a week or month, but until something changes in his behavior.
👍 190 | 👎 1
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Originally Answered: I really need help concentrating on my schoolwork.?
Find a place where you won't be distracted and if u don't have one consider going to the library. I have the same problem as you do and i've found that the library helps me concentrate. I don't bring my laptop or my cell phone with me but thats only because i don't want to get jumped or something and have them stolen from me :)
There seems to be an epidemic of kids who want to get into trouble--as if that makes them cool or something. The teachers can do next to nothing anymore, and the kids know it. Don't let this cause tension between you and hubby. The two of you need to unite and present a strong front. Sit down w/dad and boy and write out a "constitution". Make it perfectly clear that the next time he screws up, he will get ______, I suggest 2 weeks of no tv, phone, computer, friends, games, junk food. Second offense=1 month, etc. If he screws up while on grounding, make it 2 months, or permanently take away something, like the video game system, and give it to charity. I would also say that all homework and tests must be reviewed by you. Anything less than a B or C (whatever you're ok with) = 2 wks of the 'grounding'. The main thing is you clearly tell him it is unacceptable, exactly what you will do, and consistently and immediately follow thru, that's how it works in the grown up world. The punishment needs to be harsher than he can bear--one nite of no tv won't cut it. It may seem harsh, but it is him who punishes himself by choosing these actions. You do him no favors by being easy.
👍 80 | 👎 -5
Here is where you have to be very careful. When you have a child who has shown the initiative and ability in the past, but suddenly stops - there is something wrong. What you have to do is to decide what is wrong. Has he started hanging out around different friends than he used to? Has he had a hard time with girls? (I'm not trying to be rude on this next one. I'm going to have a new boy Friday and I can't imagine my boy telling me this next one) Do you think that he might be gay? Has a teacher recently told him that he's not worth anything?
You have to identify what has changed recently, and decide how to help him through what has changed. Make his grades an issue at home, but don't make that the only thing that he hears about. You still need to let him know that you love him, even if he's not making good grades.
At that age, this might not be his favorite thing, but I think that maybe a good way to go about changing things is to spend more time with him. Go fishing. Go bowling. Go hiking. Play World of Warcraft or some other game that he plays. What people want most, usually, is someone to listen to.
Those are some solutions, but you must watch closely. Things can go very wrong when kids start to shut down like that.
👍 80 | 👎 -11
This is not uncommon in bright kids. School is just not challenging for them and they just kind of mentally "drop out".
Did anything happen this year that's significantly different from last? A new teacher? A change in family life? Did a friend move away? Can you pinpoint any reasons for his disinterest in school? Maybe it's something that can change.
Is there anything your son is intensely interested in? Something that really stirs his interest? For my son, it's music. Find out what it is for your son and nurture it. Sometimes the enthusiasm for one subject can infect his work in other areas.
You say your son is in the gifted class for Reading and Language. Talk with his gifted teacher. Maybe he's just miscast - he may be in the wrong grade all together. It's estimated that many gifted kids go into a grade already knowing about 40% of the material they're expected to learn that year. If they're just re-hashing the same old stuff, stuff he already knows, who can blame him for being disinterested. Maybe he needs more challenging material, not more of the same. Your school may be able to accelerate him in some subjects while keeping him with his regular class for others.
I've found the website hoagiesgifted.com to be a God send for understanding and helping my son. They have a whole section on underacheivers - loads of information that you may find of help.
Good luck with your son. Hang in there!
👍 80 | 👎 -17
my gf's kids go to a public school, apparently the policy there is that nobody stays back, no matter what. Not only is this one of the worst examples of the misinterpretation of the no child left behind act ive ever seen, but even worse they let the kids know the policy. Maybe some kids are motivated enough to want to do well, but this will take a lot of parenting, good parenting, that many parents even if they know how dont have time for. I was scared to not try in school, cause i wanted to stay with my friends, i didnt want to be humilitated and thought stupid, and my parents would have beat me. I suggest you use the school counseler, that is what they are for, and if he cant do the work, which at some point he wont be able to if he falls behind too much, tell them to put him in the sandbox room with the other "challenged" kids.
👍 80 | 👎 -23
Originally Answered: How can I start doing my schoolwork again?
There is no easy answers to your problems--but it is not hopeless, hang in there, You say you talked to your councilor at school but have you talked to your parents? If you feel school is poisoning you, you need different schooling. Home school might be an option but with lack of motivation, it won't help with schooling but it might help your attitude/emotional state, which in turn would help with your schooling. You also need someone to talk to, someone to just to listen to you sometimes.
You are young, but I also remember that it does not feel that way, especially when depressed. I went through a lot of school that way. It can get better but you need to take another step toward fixing what is wrong. You can do it. It is both very easy and very hard but you can do it.