Invited to the bachelorette party but not the wedding?
Topic: How to write a surprise party invitation
July 16, 2019 / By Erica Question:
Here's the situation: my friend, we will call her Sarah is a bride and all of our friends are in her bridal party. Another girl in the bridal party, we will call her Alexis, is also getting married. Our friend group doesn't know Alexis well, and it wasn't a surprise to us when we weren't invited to Alexis's wedding. During Sarah's bridal get togethers we have been chatty with Alexis, but we have never gotten to be great friends with her. Alexis's bachelorette party, hosted by Sarah, came and went and I didn't even blink an eye. However, we (Sarah's bridal party) later got an invitation on Facebook for a second bachelorette party for Alexis. It is a night at a bar, and it was worded as just a girl's night, honoring the bride to be Alexis. I passed it off as a mistake that I was invited, until Sarah asked me if i was coming.I said i wasn't sure, and I told her I had made other plans, but asked if it was okay I came to it even though I wasn't invited to her wedding. Sarah didn't respond, instead writing an email to her whole bridal party telling them she was hosting the second bachelorette party because Alexis's first bachelorette party was terrible (which means no drinking, girls left and they couldn't go out.)it was a bit guilt trip-y. I don't know how to respond to Sarah, and I don't know what to do. I think it's terribly bad manners to invite us to a party honoring a bride we aren't even invited to her wedding! Am I right in feeling this way? How do I respond to this message Sarah sent? HELP!
Best Answers: Invited to the bachelorette party but not the wedding?
Cissy | 9 days ago
I'm on the fence where it comes to invited others to bachelorette parties. We go to a couple of bars and while we are there, large groups of women will suddenly descend on the place. They are part of a bachelorette party and are doing a pub crawl of 4 - 5 bars in the area.
Unless these weddings have 200 guests, then I imagine that a lot of the party goers are not also invited to the wedding. They're loud, drunk, obnoxious and look like they are all having a fun time bar hopping.
In those situations, I would think that it isn't as much about giving a gift to the bride as it is to party hearty.
It sounds like Sarah is very thoughtful and is extending a kindness to Alexis by hosting a second, more fun, party. I might bring a small present, but I would probably go just to be loud, bubbly and delightfully obnoxious.
👍 226 | 👎 9
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Originally Answered: Invited to a company party but cannot bring family?
It is a little weird but not unheard of. Also, if this is on a weekend it seems a little unfair to be cutting in to his off time.
I can think of a few reasons why this would be done. Maybe the work force operations are so vastly scattered that the management wants to bring all the workers together so they can get to know one another and form better cohesion. Perhaps they thought that if the workers were focusing on their families instead of meeting each other then the goal of achieving company unity would be sidetracked. Maybe there is some serious business to discuss at this gathering and they didn't want the family members to hear it. Never forget that meals can be used to put across some big decisions. In better economic times the company would have been able to provide enough food for the family as well but maybe now the entertainment budget is a little tight. Lastly, maybe someones family member (s) were really obnoxious at a past gathering. Instead of banning just that one employees family they ban all employee families.
Anyway, I think you and your husband are doing the right thing. He was right to ask if it was ok to bring the family along or not. And he is right to go to the event with your 2 year old and then sneak off early. Good luck!
Regardless of when the invites went out, should you've ever planned a wedding then you realize the visitor list used to be firmed up most commonly earlier than she even met you. Within the cirucumstances you've listed, she's inviting you along since you are her buddy now and she or he desires to comprise you. She failed to invite you to the bathe when you consider that it can be impolite to ask company to the shower and not the marriage ceremony and she didnt' invite you to the wedding due to the fact that she either didn't be aware of you or know you well when she used to be planning her visitor list. It is a new friendship and she or he'd wish to incorporate you in her bachelorette occasion. If you want to further the friendship then thank her and go. If you would believe out of position in view that she's the one one you could be aware of then thank her and inform her no. BTW: it isn't important that the reception is at a public park. It's nonetheless been planned for a unique quantity of persons and strangers would not be allowed to just wander over and aid themselves. The equal for a manufacturer picnic that is held in a public park. The venue is also public however the get together is confidential. No insult or slight has been supposed for you by means of this girl. She is making the hassle to incorporate you in what she can. But should you decide upon to be insulted via it and end a budding friendship then that is your resolution.
👍 90 | 👎 3
I don't think it's too odd to be invited to the bachelorette party even if you're not invited to the wedding. But I'm thinking of situations like when the bride is having a bachelorette party with her college buddies but getting married in her hometown in another state and inviting only her family. Plus, the bride isn't the only person incharge of the guestlist, it gets added to and edited by both sets of parents, and the groom, so maybe she let you guys go in favor of...I dunno, family obligations. Maybe Alexis doesn't feel very close to your group, so doesn't really have close female friends, but if she wants a bachelorette party, you're the closest group to do that. (I wonder who her bridesmaids are, and if it was them who were all such flakes for her bachelorette party?)
Brides, and I guess brides who are throwing other brides parties, can indeed get a little guilt trip-y. They're stressed and also feel entitled.
I think you should suck it up and go and celebrate Alexis, if it's not a financially burden or anything. It's sad that the first try flopped. Plus this is a chance to get closer to her, if you feel like doing that.
👍 82 | 👎 -3
It sounds like Sarah is trying to do Alexis a kindness by trying to have a better party than the first one. Yeah, it's awkward the way she's handling it but it sounds like Alexis doesn't have many friends and Sarah is sort of "borrowing" some of hers (you included) to have a good event for Alexis.
Talk to Sarah about this and try to get a little more information about what is going on before you decide how to respond. You might decide that it would be the "right thing to do" to attend and be part of a fun party for Alexis.
👍 74 | 👎 -9
Sarah is trying to be a good friend to Alexis.. She obviously doesn't have many friends to have a good bachelorette party with so she is enlisting help from everyone..
Not everyone can afford to invite everyone to their wedding.. So she could be asking u to come and celebrate with her now..
Either way do u want to go out for a girls night?.. It's just a party, and it sounds like a sympathy party due up the first ones failure...
Be nice and go!
👍 66 | 👎 -15
Stop worrying about Sarah's bad manners. Technically, it violates etiquette, but it's not the worst thing I've ever heard. An invite isn't a summons and people are free to decline. But the guilt trip email crosses a line and I'd be calling her out on that. Obviously, she's pressuring people besides you.
Just messagre her back with something very short and generic, like it turns out you do have plans that night and to have fun. If she responds with any more pressure, or wanting to know what your plans are, that's when you call her out. Somebody needs to. And it would be something like "Sarah, it's NOT ok to harrass your friends like this. In fact, it wouldn't be ok for you to do this for your own wedding. So back off."
👍 58 | 👎 -21
I do think that's odd and bad manners...but I agree with some of the other posters that Sarah is just trying to be a good friend, bride to bride. So basically it's up to you whether to just suck it up and go, and try to help Alexis have a good time, or tell the truth and say you have already made other plans.
👍 50 | 👎 -27
For me and maybe I am just in an icky mood, but Sarah needs to keep her attention focused on Sarah, she's already hosted one and that's enough, why is she so concerned with this Alexis anyway, she needs to be concentrating on her own wedding and to heck with Alexis, even though she may have had a bad experience, and no I would not go//I flat out refuse when someone tries to put a guilt trip on me, maybe I am older and been guilted when I was young and tender but not now, this old bird, perhaps a bit wiser, but fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you.
👍 42 | 👎 -33
Originally Answered: Is it legal for a party in SD to record cell-phone conversations with an unknowing party in NV? Can NV sue?
Doesn't look like it.
Recording Telephone Calls with Parties in Different Jurisdictions
Federal law may apply when the conversation is between parties who are in different states, although it is unsettled whether a court will hold in a given case that federal law "pre-empts" state law, but either state may choose to enforce its own laws. Therefore it is better to err on the side of caution when recording an interstate telephone call.
The Role of FCC
The FCC's role in assisting consumers who believe their telephone conversations were unlawfully recorded is generally limited to ensuring that telephone companies enforce their tariff provisions regarding recording of telephone conversations. The only penalty that can be enforced by the local carrier is revocation of telephone service. (In the Matter of Use of Recording Devices in Connection with Telephone Service)
The FCC protects the privacy of telephone conversations by requiring notification before a recording device is used to record interstate or foreign telephone conversations. These types of conversations may not be recorded unless the use of a recording device is:
Preceded by verbal or written consent of all parties to the telephone conversation; or
Preceded by verbal notification which is recorded at the beginning, and as part of the call, by the recording party; or
Accompanied by an automatic tone warning device, sometimes called a beep tone, which automatically produces a distinct signal that is repeated at regular intervals during the course of the telephone conversation when the recording device is in use.
Also, no recording device may be used unless it can be physically connected to and disconnected from the telephone line or switched on and off.
The above FCC rule requirements apply to telephone common carriers. Similar requirements are imposed on consumers through the carriers' tariffs.