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How do you think my story is coming?

How do you think my story is coming? Topic: How to write a story in poetry form
July 22, 2019 / By Eileen
Question: Outside the wind is howling. A cold breeze blows through a crack in the window. You pace back in forth in your office. Your Name is Joaneth Eel, you are a horror writer. Your office is on the third floor of the Burrstone office building. Tomorrow is the deadline of your new book so you must work late tonight. Everyone, besides you, including the front desk clerk has gone home. To anyone else this would scare them out of their mind, but being an author you find it inspirational. Just as you start to type your phone rings. “Yeah?” “Hi it’s me, Emerald.” Her real name was Esmeralda Fang, you’re both authors. You met at a writer convention in Manchester. You live in Eastchester and she lives in New Rochelle. “Hi Emerald, what’s up.” “I just wanted to know ask if you wanted to grab a bite to eat?” “Sorry, I’m working late,” you answer glumly. She sighs, “Oh well, maybe when you get out?” “Maybe… oh wait, why don’t you come down to my office?” “Cool, ok see you when I get there, bye.” “Bye.” You click the phone off and set it down. Turning back to the screen you think hard. As you type you begin to lose concentration. A noise down the hall is driving you insane. You get up from the desk and head to where you hear the noise. All the way down the hall it came from a bathroom. You open the door; you see that the sink faucet it dripping. “Wow, I could hear that from my office, it MUST be quiet in here.” You tighten the knob and head back. The hallway is dark; the only light came from a window at the end of the hall. A chill runs down your back and you hurry inside. Rubbing your eyes you stagger over to a couch section. “I’m SO tired,” you yawn. You look at your phone, 11:47. You turn to the mirror, you smudged your makeup but you’re too tired to care. You start to doze off when a thump forces your eyes open. The room is quiet for a few seconds than you hear it again. You weakly stand up and decide to look around. It takes a minute for your eyes to focus. You struggle to see the entire room and look in time to see a shadow. “Joan!” You shout in alarm, they know your name. “It’s me!” The lights click on and Emerald stood in front of you. ”You scared me,” you say out of breath. “Sorry.” “Come on, will you help me with this story.” “Sure.” The story you are working on has given you so much trouble. You type with one hand and tap with the other, tapping helps you to think. You stop tapping for a second; you’d swear you could hear someone else tapping too. You look at Emerald; she seems to have heard it too. “Oh man, that stupid faucet again, I’ll be right back.” you moan. You open the bathroom door and glower at the sink. Drip... drip… drip… You feel you face getting hot and your nails are digging into your palms. It teases you, drip… drip… drip… You grab both hands around the faucet and yank. DRIP... DRIP… DRIP… DRIP… It leaked faster and louder. You grab your ears and growl. You’ve had enough; you reach down to the pipe and turn the nozzle. The dripping stops suddenly and you sigh in relief. You rush back to your office and collapse into the chair. “You’re losing it!” Emerald laughs. You’re just too tired to work this late. “Look I need to go, I just wanted to stop in and say hi.” “Oh… well ok, thanks for coming up here.” “No problem.” As she left the door clicked shut and you realize you’re alone again. “Maybe I should just go home,” you say. The couch squeaks as you get up and you head for the door. You turn the knob and freeze. You try it again… uh-oh, you’ve locked your self in. This is beginning to sound like something out of your stories. “Ok don’t panic.” You say to yourself. “I’ve got it,” you say pulling out your phone. Unfortunately your hands are shaky and it drops right out of them. You watch helplessly as your only means of communication plunges through the floor vent. As you bend down to try to pull it out you knock a cup of water over your laptop. “No cell phone or computer, GREAT.” You sit miserably on the sofa in the dark, lonely, office waiting for morning to come. But time passes slowly when you want it to go fast. “Maybe I can get out the window!” you say hopefully. You race toward it but stop half way when you remember you’re on the third floor. Beginning to again lose hope you wonder to your desk. As you sit down you drop your head into your hands. Time passes slowly but you sit there for what seems like hours. You listen to the subtle tick of the clock. Looking up to it you see it says 1:12 Outside a kick-me dog starts barking, or should you say yapping. You feel your nails dig into your head. And if it wasn’t loud enough the water started to drip again. Barking, ticking, and dripping; you officially lost it. You laugh your head off for a good 15 minuets. “Hey maybe I can use what I see and hear in my story.” You start to get up off the couch but then remember your laptop is dead. help?
Best Answer

Best Answers: How do you think my story is coming?

Chelsey Chelsey | 3 days ago
This is just my opinion, and i will try to form CC... You are using second person pronouns. Ask yourself if there is a better way, if it fits the use, ie it is meant to be submitted for a competition where they want this(maybe a magazine advert). However, i had to force myself to think of a reason why you would be writing that way. You have also set it out in Poetry form. If it is meant to be poetry, that is fair enough, but you have used no form(other than capitalisation) or structure. Consider the purpose of the piece of writing and the story, then think of how you could change and improve it.
👍 114 | 👎 3
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We found more questions related to the topic: How to write a story in poetry form


Chelsey Originally Answered: I need help coming up with a superhero short story?
Telekinesis..mind over matter../ Mind reading..minding the store.. === Be a Female cheerleader--that has adventures away from practice.. ..like..to & from === Use your surroundings to make it more real--like--keeping a bicycle from crashing.. ..and finding a door to open so as to save some-one from a burning building.. === Mind-reading..?? .mind reading isn't really a possible thing.. You might want to try--mental images.. Like a piece of heavy equipment is going to fly down a hill.. === The rest should be easy../

Aryana Aryana
It's too choppy, lacks fluidity, isn't smooth and you enter after every sentence. There is NO need to do that. Too many adverbs here. Write numbers out as five and not 5. There's no hook here, just a guy in an office. Big deal. I honestly don't think second pov is the best for this story. It would be better in first or third.
👍 40 | 👎 -3

Zedekiah Zedekiah
U go too much into every details. Cut it short to make it more exciting to read. Its too borish. Put more intensity in it. Make it scary. "Emerald Fang"; got to be a vampire story.
👍 38 | 👎 -9

Sinclair Sinclair
Ugh, second person? I've only ever seen that in erotica and cookbooks. Are you writing erotica? I hope not. Fiction = 1st person or 3rd person
👍 36 | 👎 -15

Sinclair Originally Answered: Need help coming up with a horror story setting/time period?
How about a scientist who invented a machine that could literally consciously transport you into someone mind. The twist? The test subject is a serial killer. for the rest use you imagination. If you write it and it works just give props to this guy *points at himself*

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