Why doesn't my husband understand how important not having a big wedding was to me?

Why doesn't my husband understand how important not having a big wedding was to me? Topic: How to write a name on cake
July 16, 2019 / By Earlene
Question: Please read: If you aren't sympathetic, you might at least get a good laugh. We got engaged and I spent months looking at dresses and books for the wedding. My fiance was in boot camp then. He came home (he had too many panic attacks) and got a marriage license just a little while later. He said that he didn't want a big wedding, but I did. Anytime I talked about the dresses I wanted or the cake..whatever, he would say "We can talk about it later" Well, we only had a month until the license ran out. It came down to it, and I said something about how we were going to have to get another license and he said that we weren't paying another $100 for one, so we needed to just do it. I was really upset, but I just said fine. We got married the next morning after church on Father's Day 2005. The night before he called everyone but my family was four hours away and they couldn't come on such short notice. NONE of my family was there. I didn't have a white dress, so he took me to the mall. I couldn't find anything he like liked so I just said forget it, and wore a black and white dress I had. We got ready and his aunt came out with this horrid plastic bouquet that she had used in the 80s and his grandfather, whom I'd only known for a few months, walked me down the isle. His father married us, and that was it. After, we went to his Aunts and they had bought us a cake at Food City. It had "Congratulations" with our names on it, and they spelled my name wrong! I was so embarrassed. Well, we left and I wondered if he had anything special planned for the afternoon since we didn't do anything big for the wedding, and he took me over to his cousins. We sat there and they played Halo. I sat outside crying. After, we went home. I didn't want him to know how upset I was, so I went in the bathroom..I was still crying and he came in and I explained to him that WE JUST GOT MARRIED! and we were sitting at home like nothing happened. He apologized and suggested that we go get a PIZZA! Now, let me tell you..we aren't dirt poor or anything... we have money and could have had a great wedding.. he just didn't want to invest any effort and kept putting it off until I was so discouraged I just didn't want to fight with him about it. I just can't get over it, though. It was supposed to be the best day of my life, the day I had dreamed about since I was little, and it was awful. I didn't have any say about anything, and I was so embarrassed. The worst part is that if we're watching a wedding on tv or go to one, I get upset and he gets mad like I shouldn't care. He says I blow it out of proportion and that it wasn't THAT bad. MY NAME WAS SPELLED WRONG ON MY WEDDING CAKE...SOMEPLACE MY NAME SHOULD NEVER BE IN THE FIRST PLACE and I don't have a wedding video. How do I make him understand that? I want to have a ceremony on our fifth anniversary and write our own vows, but he says no.. why can't he understand how important this is to me?
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Best Answers: Why doesn't my husband understand how important not having a big wedding was to me?

Celestine Celestine | 4 days ago
Perhaps you should have a five year divorce ceremony? Jeez sweetheart are you brow beat? If you were poor I could understand, but you say you have money. This guy is a piece of work, what a selfish bastard! A lot of us guys don't understand why that stuff is so important to women, however we have sense enough see that it means a lot to you and so then we should give it importance if for no other reason than to make you happy because we care about you. He sounds really immature to me. You should just train him like a dog, ala Cesar Millan the dog whisperer! LOL!
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Celestine Originally Answered: How do I solve this issue about my wedding?! PLEASE HELP, THIS IS IMPORTANT?
Send everyone the invitation printed in English, but have inexpensive plain paper inserts printed at a local copy shop with the other languages. If you wish you could target the individuals with just a single insert in their native language or you could include all the inserts in all of the invitations. I run a volunteer association and whenever we have special events this is what we do. It still looks classy but gets everyone the information they need and costs very little in addition to the regular invitation.

Annitra Annitra
What is your marriage like? Although some of it looks funny i.e. the plastic bouquet, I think that there were a few really big red flags that you should have paid attention to. 1. He is controlling and things get done his way or no way. 2. He is cheap. Not spending another $100 on a wedding license was more important to him than making you happy. I do think that you could have survived without the video and ALL the bells and whistles, but you should have had your family there, a nice dress that you wanted and a few concessions at least. However, your biggest mistake was saying "fine". You should not have agreed to it. If you would be willing to agree to this in order to avoid a fight or bigger hassle with him, you are contributing to him being domineering and you need to nip that in the bud early in your marriage. The 2 of you are going to need to work together to learn how to compromise & put the other one first. I think this will be more difficult for him. Instead of dwelling on the wedding, work hard on the marriage. The wedding is over, don't allow the marriage to be. You can always have the big wedding when you renew your vows - maybe at your 10 year anniversary??
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Yancey Yancey
I actually don't find it funny. I find it sad. I can relate, too. But first, it is possible the panic attacks are why he didn't want a big wedding. It sounds like he is not telling you what is going on with him. However, he does not seem to be giving your feelings any consideration, and I know ***for me*** that's not what I want in a husband. My wedding only had his people there. We went to Applebees afterwards. The food was bad. I felt like it was just another day. And, it's pretty much been a pattern for the last year, and we're not going to make it. I need someone who is sensitive to my feelings and who understands what is important to me. I don't need someone who thinks that I'm making a big deal out of things. I think your husband is emotionally unaware. Memories are important! So are your feelings, and so are YOU!
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Shell Shell
Wow! Do you love him? I couldn't believe what I was reading! ... and then played Halo? Oh my gosh!!! I am sooooo sorry for you because he has shown you what he's made of. What would it be like when you're ready to go to the hospital to deliver your first child?? I'm sure he will have found some old t-shirt from one of his buddies for your baby's going home outfit, that is if he remembered to ask them for it after their battle of Nintendo. I'm not sure what your relationship is based on, but you must have seen this personality shine through, didn't you? Mostly, though, I feel very sad for you. In answer to your question, I think that he is just very lazy, immature and selfish. It's time for him to start showing you alot of respect, and he needs to make up your wedding day to you. That wasn't even cool at all!!!!! He needs to start by taking you on a beautiful honeymoon of YOUR CHOICE! Then in case he didn't "get around to it" when you get back, you both need to go to a jewelry store (not a pawn shop) and YOU get to pick out a beautiful ring that he's going to buy for you. He needs to start showing you that YOU mean ALOT to him, and that things are going to change! Good Luck to you! Hey, whatever happens, DON'T let him bring you down! Don't lose your self worth for him! You keep being STRONG and NEVER give up on your dreams! Good Luck, sis!!!
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Nolan Nolan
It should not be approximately how vast your wedding ceremony it, yet approximately how plenty you like the guy. believe me, i comprehend. Me and my husband had a speedy court living house wedding ceremony because of the fact he became starting to be a member of the army. i did no longer have a white dress or something, and that i did no longer even get the plastic flora or cake. It became a speedy wedding ceremony, a one nighttime honey funds, and he became long gone at common here day. Neither my, nor his kin became there the two. i might say to speak to him and plan a vow renewal to your anniversary so you might use to throw the marriage you like including your loved ones there. And this way you will no longer desire yet another marriage license and you will in basic terms pass interior the path of the motions for you earnings. What you rather might desire to do however is talk on your husband approximately this. it form of appears like it rather is rather bothering you and all its going to do is positioned something in between you that would reason maritial issues interior the destiny. you're already married and you may desire to paintings on your dating and not enable those form of issues drag you down. it may no longer have been the marriage of your desires, yet are you with the guy you like? if so then it's time to locate a thank you to go previous the marriage difficulty. you won't be able to alter what surpassed off there, yet you may paintings including your husband to make your destiny greater suitable. end looking backwards and initiate looking forward. sooner or later you may desire to be waiting to look back on that day and chortle.
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Nolan Originally Answered: My mom doesn't understand me?
well hey if you can last through this hard stuff than in the future hard things will be VERY easy for you BELIVE ME!!! because you have already been through the hard stuff

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