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How Does This Poem Sound To You?

How Does This Poem Sound To You? Topic: How to write a man on the street story
June 25, 2019 / By Oprah
Question: So i had to write a poem for school that started with "The Voices In My Head", and my teacher told us to be as creative as we can. The poem does not rhyme, and so far, when i read it to a few people, they said it was good. How do you like it? The voices in my head were the ones who told me to do this ghastly crime Living in a world of shame, I didn’t know what to do or say anymore I had been through three abortions, two arrests for prostitution, and a cocaine overdose Suffered mental breakdowns almost on a daily basis Been beaten, emotionally and physical, by every man I had ever been with Abandoned my one and only daughter in the street when she was only one years old I didn’t have anything to live for anymore The voices in my head drove me crazy with their request “It’s the only thing that you have going for you” and “Nobody loves you anyways.” Was all I heard Tears streamed down my face as I placed the .45 caliber to my heart I knew that in my mind and soul that this could be the best thing for me A deafening sound filled my head as I pulled the trigger Excruciating pain shot through me like an electric bolt Blood rose up in my throat and splurted everywhere I saw a whole bunch of colors and I tried to scream, but no sound came out That was the last of the world that I saw Now, I lay in this burning inferno of fire I wish that I was somebody else Zombie-like figures lay around me, their eyes rolling in the back of their head, no brains or feelings I’m scared out of my mind, and I don’t understand why I am where I am now I knew that I should have never listened to the voices in my head But what else could I do? But now, as the devil himself comes toward me Evil lurking in his eyes, and a pitiful smirk on his face Pitchfork in his hands, sharp and gleaming in the fire light I know that nobody really ever cared about me… Ever
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Best Answers: How Does This Poem Sound To You?

Mahalah Mahalah | 3 days ago
Hey, i have to tell that the "pitchfork" towards the end made it funny right from what was a totally serious story in the beginning. Well about the poem as a whole, it is much like a short story with long sentences and individual depictions of incidents which makes the reader feel much like a story rather than a poem. So i advise you to cut short sentences at the same time preserving its original meaning. I have to admit that your content is wonderful but the presentation is completely different from that of a poem. It needn't have any rhythm, it is not necessary at all. For example, your line "Suffered mental breakdowns almost on a daily basis" can be re-written as "As the sun rises, i feel my brain cries in vain, depriving of life, every moment" Hope you get it. tc
👍 94 | 👎 3
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Mahalah Originally Answered: How Does This Poem Sound To You?
Hey, i have to tell that the "pitchfork" towards the end made it funny right from what was a totally serious story in the beginning. Well about the poem as a whole, it is much like a short story with long sentences and individual depictions of incidents which makes the reader feel much like a story rather than a poem. So i advise you to cut short sentences at the same time preserving its original meaning. I have to admit that your content is wonderful but the presentation is completely different from that of a poem. It needn't have any rhythm, it is not necessary at all. For example, your line "Suffered mental breakdowns almost on a daily basis" can be re-written as "As the sun rises, i feel my brain cries in vain, depriving of life, every moment" Hope you get it. tc

Ketzia Ketzia
its sounds best tiffany, continually write from the center and you're going to by no means move fallacious. Im sorry you sound so unhappy. dont be unhappy existence is like that normally with a view to apperciate the well occasions we must move by way of dangerous occasions. Always recollect like is wish you are making it.
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Jaiden Jaiden
Well, if 1/2 that stuff is true, i suggest you get help. But its a good poem, no counting the fact that i dislike abortion and prostitution and well cocaine. But ok then, its good.
👍 28 | 👎 -7

Emmie Emmie
try using some big words that'll explain one or more things but yes its good though try even to depict more of the voices
👍 26 | 👎 -12

Emmie Originally Answered: How do these computer components sound?
Yup. will work very nicely. Just built a practically indentical computer for a friend of mine. The E8200 will easily hit 3ghz on the stock cooler, especially on the P5K (the P35-based Asus boards are very good for overlocking... I have the P5K Premium, not much difference though). What power supply are you looking at? That's a very important component which is often overlooked - a cheap, rubbish power supply is the cause of a huge number of computer crashes. And a high wattage doesn't make a power supply good - you have to look for one which is able to hold a steady voltage on all rails when put under load. EDIT: Power supplies... hmmmmm Well, first of all, check that one doesn't come with the case (which I assume you've chosen, despite it not being on the list!). Usually I would say buy a case without a PSU and chose your own, but some of the Antec cases come with fairly good Antec power supplies which would work perfectly fine. If you want to chose your own then the easiest thing would be to browse through the power supplies section of the website you plan to buy all that from. Ignore the cheap ones, ignore the expensive ones: aim for somewhere in the middle. A 500w would do fine. Pick out a few which catch your eye, then Google them all like hell for nitty-gritty reviews and such. Any mention of one causing any problems (other than the expected 'one-in-a-few-thousand' faulty ones) then forget that model. Also, look for one which is "modular". This means that you only plug the power cables you need into it, rather than having a big tangle of cables coming out the back and having to stuff the ones you don't need in awkward places. Keeps everything tidy.

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