My gf makes me feel inadequate all the time?
Topic: Life is all about problem solving
July 20, 2019 / By Bigvai Question:
I do not mean "inadequate in bed" but i can expect that from her as well. We are also think about getting married.
The problem is just that she is too insensitive towards my feelings and somewhat feminist as well.
I feel as if I am not the one she looks upto but she would just make herself appear happy with what ever useless stuff I offer her. Guys may be able to better understand that how pathetic it feels when you really work hard to make ends meet and your companion responds with fake happiness.
I have already communicated this thing to her but instead of understanding my point of view and trying to make it work, she reciprocates by equating it with some totally different problem with me.
I have repeatedly told her that I can be wrong as well and I am willing to do whatever it takes to work on my shortcoming but I cant understand that why cant she do the same.
Would it be a good idea to marry her? How should I solve this problem?
Please do not assume that I have male ego issues but I do loosely believe in the traditional roles of man and wife.
It saddens me that she wants full commitment from me without making any sacrifices in her career, friends or even including any of my preferences in her life.
Thanks all. I am kind of a person who is willing to go an extra mile for the maintain the relationship, that is why dumping her has been tough.
Every time I get hurt I try to get over it in the name of relationship. Now, I am seriously thinking that I would not be able to do it forever.
Best Answers: My gf makes me feel inadequate all the time?
Absalom | 2 days ago
No, and I don't blame you for feeling like this, woman today have lost the knowledge that sometimes it's OK to need your man to be strong for you and it's ok to be vulnurable.
I'm sorry for your situation... Good relationships have good communication and if she's not hearing your heart's cry that you want to sometimes be her knight in shining armor, than honestly it might not work out very well. You will always feel less of a man and unneeded if you stay with her.
Men and woman balance each other out. It makes me so sad that what women today thing is feminine is doing it all for yourself and not needing the man! Women are supposed to brighten the world w/ their beauty and their giving hearts...
Think about old paintings, men are at work in the fields or DOING something, it looks right doesn't it? Put a woman in the field or hurling an ax around, it wouldn't look right! Women are always portrayed laying out gracefully and their beauty is accenented.
Your heart as a man will not be happy when your woman doesn't need your strength sometimes. That is what I love most about my bf is when I REALLY need it, he comes to my rescue... His gifts don't make me as happy as the input he brings to my life! I listen to him and he listens to me...
I would suggest telling your gf that this is a BIG problem for you and if it doesn't change you need to move on... there are still women out there who embrace their femininity and understand that they are beautiful and captivating, sure they don't NEED a man to complete them, but when the right one comes along, they want him to fight for them and to pursue them....
You need someone who let's you know you ARE good enough!
I hope this helps... I am sorry.
👍 112 | 👎 2
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I truly hope you get to solve that problem...
I have been in that kind of situations in the past and really, in the final you realize that it's only a reflection of the other person's insecurity.
Usually, you set for ideals and refuse to accept to look at something else (reality) because it's a way to deny that you don't feel confident you can work with what you have in reality. It's so much easier to be a victim and complain or sit down and never stop aspiring for better.
It's much tougher to open up to others and take actions.
And that wouldn't help her insecurity but, a guy who can post about his feelings can get a lot of girls like that... She better work it.
All I could when it happened to me is almost look for a confrontation and then force my partner to finish with ONE subject instead of switching to some silly escape. And believe I did play dumb and refuse to understand or even end the conversation until she finally talked and closed on the topic.
Well, hopefully a lot of people are going to answer your post and you'll get a good insight...
👍 40 | 👎 -3
I'm a girl who empathizes with your girlfriend, but sympathizes with your perspective more...and must say honestly that it is not fair she treat you like that. I say this because in a past relationship, I made a person who was always willing to give much more than he received feel just as inadequate as you are feeling now. It is something I sincerely regret. The situations could be very different, however...I suggest that you continue trying to talk to her about it. If nothing changes...frankly, it's just not worth it. It seems that there's not an equal amount of effort from both sides...
👍 39 | 👎 -8
ABSOLUTELY NOT! Im very serious when i say this. I can only imagine that she has in some way shape or form done this for as long as you have allowed her. You have to let her know that while you are willing to compromise and do your best to cure your short comings, you will not tolerate her mistreatment and disrespect to you. I mean, a woman who loves and respects you does not do that. And, if your shortcomings are that bad, she is woman enough to tell you she cant get over that and move on with her life. You cant let this woman walk all over you (and i sense that you do that sometimes) Ok im done. But if youve tried and she refuses to see you out or understand you, then yeah man, not only should you not marry her, you should let her go. Balls in your court. :)
👍 38 | 👎 -13
Would it be a good idea to marry her? No, it would be a bad idea.
How should I solve this problem? Break up with her and move on.
She's insensitive towards your feelings, doesn't respect you, makes you feel inadequate all the time, responds with fake happiness, ignores your feelings when you try to explain and reciprocates by equating it with some totally different problem.
You have repeatedly told her yet she ignores you. Can you really believe she'd "love honor and cherish" you? I don't.
👍 37 | 👎 -18
Originally Answered: Facebook makes me feel depressed. Help?
When looking at Facebook, keep in mind that your perception of people is distorted by the content people express on Facebook. People are unlikely to 'post' pictures, where they are not smiling, or post status that are overly pessimistic. This doesn't create a positive image of themselves. Really, Facebook is like a form of 'self-advertising'. Some studies have been conducted about Facebook in this regard, and they support this hypothesis.
If you feel that the site is a negative experience for you, then it would make sense to deactivate it for now. You can come back to it once you are feeling better about the site, or keep it deactivated forever. Whichever you feel suits you best.