How Do You Balance Confidence and Low Self Esteem?
Topic: Help writing a self assessment
June 16, 2019 / By Rachyl Question:
I am generally confident, but this same confidence also leads me to often believe that I am better than most. Otherwise, I couldn't have this confidence if I didn't think I was better than most. Why would anyone have confidence if he didn't think he was better??
At the same time, one also has to be completely honest with one self, and so I realize that there are other guys who have more money and/or more success than I do. If I am completely honest, I will realize that they are better than me for those reasons. This sometimes leads me to have low self esteem.
So, how does someone become a well balanced person??
How can I avoid my roller-coaster emotions taking me from arrogance to low self-esteem??
Best Answers: How Do You Balance Confidence and Low Self Esteem?
Melinda | 9 days ago
Rather than thinking that you need to have low self-esteem to counter-balance your overconfidence you should try to have an accurate self-assessment. Low self-esteem is generally considered to be a sense that who you are is inadequate. Self-assessment, on the other hand, is an attempt to be honest about your strengths and weaknesses.
My suggestion is that you do not simply assess yourself on your accomplishments but rather on your character. Begin by writing down how your overconfidence has hurt others. Then write down some of your other flaws. Then write down about times where you have been confident but you did not perform well. All of this will help you temper your confidence with reality.
To avoid low self-esteem you must change your values. Instead of valuing financial success, try learning to appreciate how you support your friends, how you give back to the community, etc. I would encourage you to also write down about this as well.
Writing about your defects has an advantage over simply thinking about them - you can be more systematic when you write. This will fish out the thoughts about yourself that lead you to be either overconfident or to have low-self esteem.
In the end you will want to be a person who is confident about your strengths, honest about your weaknesses, and appreciate how you are achieving something (other than financial success) with your life.
As a side note, another person commented that you may be experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder. If you notice that you have alternating cycles of depressed and hyperactive moods (more than the average person), then you can consider seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist for treatment.
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Originally Answered: How do i get over my low self esteem?
Well, just accept yourself. You're beautiful in your own way, if he doesn't see that, **** him. Excuse my french. But, find a guy who will look at the posters and look at your and just tell you you're way better then them. Obviously he doesn't understand how you feel. But because of him doing that doesn't mean you should burn yourself with a cigarette. Hurting yourself doesn't help. Try music, writing, screaming (while away from people, lol), or even dancing. Something to get your mind off of it or be able to express how you're feeling. But keep your chin up, you're beautiful and you'll always be beautiful in your own way.
Real confidence in oneself results from a high self-esteem. True self-confidence requires one to accept oneself as he / she is, imperfections & all, and knows what his own strengths and weaknesses are, not being ashamed of them at all.
True self-confidence does not depend on whether you are really better than others. It does depend on yourself and how much you believed in yourself and your own abilities.
There will be times when you feel good and all-powerful, and when you feel down and in the pits. In times like this, if you have a high self-esteem of yourself, you would be able to recognize these up-and-down emotions and not let them affect your own confidence.
Believe that you are unique in this world. There is no one exactly like you. Don't go around comparing your "successes" with others as they are not the same. Be content with what you have. Live within your means and expand your means. Learn humility and always desire knowledge / wisdom. Always be willing to share & lend a hand when needed. You are in this world for a purpose, and that purpose can only be achieved by you. If you keep these positive thoughts with you in good times and bad, your self-esteem will be well-balanced.
👍 40 | 👎 4
First of all one of the biggest differences between confidence and arrogance, is the scale you use. If you compare yourself to others in the sense that you have to be better than them, that is arrogance. Confidence is being completely content with your state, not because you are better than any one else, but you are the best you could be, that ties into integrity, honesty and how you spend your time ect...
Just because some one has more money than you that does not make them better. I mean think about that that really says. They might have stolen, it might be their parents money, they may be in debt, they may have worked hard to get "money". None of those things make them better.
You will avoid you roller-coaster if you really understand what confidence is.
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You should balance being nice to people while being confident.
Self esteem is a separate issue.You can build that up with doing something challenging like working out. School.flying lessons,you get the picture.
👍 24 | 👎 -6
It sounds like you may be describing manic episodes and depressive episodes. You may wish to talk to a professional in sufficient detail to be able to realistically advise you.
👍 16 | 👎 -11
Originally Answered: 13 and VERY low self-esteem. :(?
Just remember- none of this is your fault- like one of the above posters said, its the insecurities of the people that say those things.
I went through bullying from grade1-12, just for how i looked- i certainly wasn't good looking by any means- but that didn't give anybody the right to treat me emotionally and physically the way they did.
I too had no one to turn to, and ended up with an eating disorder- which is one path you do not want to take!
I think its fantastic you are reaching out, like on this website, because even though we cant be your friends - you know there are others out there that have been through your situation before,
There are a few great ideas presented here, writing down all your feelings in a journal is a great way to stop yourself from internalizing those feelings, and which can result in my story
Also, joining groups like drama, band etc, will give you opportunities to meet people and have reasons to hang out after school etc- and youll find most friendship groups at school are like the drama group, band group, etc.
Jus remember if things get really bad, all schools have councilors, and you can always talk to them!!
Good luck sweetie!!