Topic: Case by case staging concepts
June 25, 2019 / By Karaugh Question:
When I was 10 I started getting annoyed and very angry at things, and over the years it got worse. My mom gets really angry too, and she always gets me started. But sometimes I get angry at little things like just now I was on my computer that I've had for only a couple months and it was loading too slow. So I got really angry and punched the screen and now there's a big crack in it. I feel really guilty and I'm about to cry...I wasn't like this before. I just want to control it, it's taking over my life...
Another thing is, it happened so fast I didn't know what I did or what had happened. I don't even remember telling my arm to do that. It was just a thought and then it was broken.
Hannie | 5 days ago
Anger, like other emotions, is caused by a flow of neurotransmitters in your brain. As you practice an emotion (ie the more frequently you feel this emotion) the more the pathways for that emotion are strengthened in your brain, and therefore, the more likely you are to feel that emotion in the future. (See the book: The Science of Happiness) Luckily, emotions can be controlled by choice.
While you may feel that you are not in control now, and at this stage you cannot just STOP getting angry, with years of practice, your rage will lessen and you will find that you don't get angry anymore.
(I used to have major rage constantly, and these days I no longer get angry...in rare cases I get frustrated, but not angry. It's so relieving. Have patience and keep trying and you will get there.
This is the tactic I recommend.
1 - Think of the following concept. (Write about it, find literature that talks about this, and spend a couple of minutes - only a minute or 2 is necessary but try and be as consistent as possible) Anger comes from thinking that the situation is differently than it SHOULD be.
But...every situation you are in is an opportunity to grow as a person, to become stronger and more in self-control.
If someone ticks you off, it's an opportunity to exercise being loving, and separating the person from the act that they are doing. Just as you don't judge yourself by your poor behavior because you know that YOU are so much more than your mistakes, the same applies to others as well. Don't be a sucker, but know that anyone who annoys you is a whole person, not just this one moment.
If a situation annoys you - it's an opportunity!! to practice patience.
Relish these moments and don't beat yourself up when you feel anger. Just PRACTICE better habits.
Think about and review these thoughts and also do step 2.
2- Try your hardest not to SHOW anger. If you are feeling annoyed, take a break, and go for a quick jog, and tell yourself that you can get angry in half an hour if you want to. Then, remove yourself from the situation.
Don't talk to people when you're angry. Excuse yourself politely, say you will speak with them in a few minutes when you are calm, and , like I said, if you can, go running or something.
3 - if you believe in G-d, it doesn't hurt to pray for patience.
4 - remember that your anger damages you more than anyone else, and it's worthwhile to keep working on this
5 - look for the tinyest drop of progress and reward yourself abundantly. changing your character traits is HARD WORK and you can only keep putting into a project that you get pleasure from.
The best of luck to you!!! May you be granted with much success in this area!
I sure know how that feels, but after a while I was able to control that anger & I know that you can too. When I would get angry I would want to break something & when I did I totally regretted it later & then it was gone. Know I stop and think before I act upon destroyingg something I will miss or want to use later. Get a tennis ball, and when you get mad squeeze it as hard as you can. And you will feel better.
being out of goodies. hypothetically of path, I've on no account honestly been out of goodies. however I'm beautiful certain my boner could disintegrate into my loins just like the ruins of an impressive kingdom, eternally grime :(
you need to go to anger control management classes in your town.. the sooner you do it, the better it is for your household furniture and appliances