Originally Answered: What makes your husband/wife so special to you?
My (now) husband and I were friends for three years before we got together. I never though I'd fancy him and we'd end up together, until we did. We didn't date and there was no seduction, we were just there for each other when the other one really needed us and I guess we just woke up to how much the other person meant to us. Sometimes, you just don't know. Sometimes, you don't feel something straight away or feel that that special person is about to come in to your life.
I know it may be cheesy, but below is a quote that I really like
"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
-Louis de Bernieres
You can't wonder around expecting love to hit you like a thunder bold, so don't even think about it. One day, it'll just be there, and all of those lovely things that you do like buying flowers, making meals and writing poems, they'll be the most perfect things in the world to the one who is right for you.
I'm sorry to say it, because i really don't want to cause you any more pain, but if this woman were the right one for you, and you the right one for her, then alcohol, an ocean of distance or the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, wouldn't have been able to stop you being together.
Feel the pain of your breakup, really experience it, because that's the only really way to start to move on from it, and then one day, when your least expecting it, you'll find love again. It could be several years from now with this same one woman, who, having ditched the drink is ready to be what she'd need to be to be in a loving, committed relationship, or it may be someone completely different and unexpected. Either way, you don't need to forget how special this woman and this relationship have been to you, and finding someone who is special in different ways, does not make either woman any less special.
It is one of the many beauties of the human race, our many differences.