Assigned to watch wedding gifts?
Topic: How to write a church thank you card
June 25, 2019 / By Johanan Question:
My cousin is getting married soon and I have heard she wants to assign someone the task of watching the wedding gifts. Apparently she wants someone to just sit next to the gift table as the guests arrive and drop off their gifts. I'm not sure what the point of that is? Is she afraid people will steal the gifts and/or cash envelopes? Is it normal to assign someone to watch the gift table at a wedding? What happens when that person has to go eat and no one can watch the gifts?
Best Answers: Assigned to watch wedding gifts?
Griffith | 9 days ago
There are various customs associated with weddings, and this is one. Yes, the person assigned to the gift table stays there and watches the gifts. Yes, there are people who go to weddings, who dress up in a suit, who come into them, and walk out with the card box. They dress up to blend in, then steal.
And yes, there is other tasks with the job. One is to be there to "receive" the gifts, the bride can not be there herself, so you are the bride's representative. You smile, you say things like 'oh, isn't that pretty! Jeannie will like that, it's pink!" "Thank you!" It is just good etiquette.
And you do not go and eat. You stay there. You have someone very responsible, like your mother, watch things for you while you go fill your plate, but trust me, you are eating close to or at the gift tables. Or better yet, have someone fix a plate for you.
In some places, it is the custom to open the gifts there. My cousin did it this way, and asked me to do it. People took their gifts to the church, which is a no no, and left them in the vestibule, at the top of the stairs. On purpose. It was my job to go get them up the stairs, walk across the courtyard, and take them downstairs into the church basement. In heels and a long dress. And them open them and write them down.
So, ask the bride exactly what she wants done. Does she want them opened? Does she mean for you to stay there and guard, or is she just concerned that someone is there to receive them? Or not? Just say, Oh, when it is time for me to go fix my plate, Mom will watch things."
If this is not good, Bridezilla will tell you!
I would advise asking before you do, to avoid the tongue lashing that River got, to be very crystal clear about what the bride wants, since customs are different in various communities. .
The bride's Mother, my Aunt, came over with my mother, who she had scooped up on the way, and told me off publicly that I was not moving and opening the gifts fast enough, and that I did not know how to make the number one, it looked like a seven. My Grandmother was standing there, and so were a group of people who were laughing at me. Hmmm.
The moral of the story is, be clear about what the bride wants. It is her day, don't spoil it by following the customs of another community. .
👍 286 | 👎 9
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Originally Answered: Destination Wedding: How to do welcome gifts?
It just too much trouble. Plus many hotels will charge you individual delivery fees to put it in each guests' room.
Plus the pain inthe butt of people needing to take an extra piece of luggage home.
Or, right after people RSVP yes, send TO THEIR HOME thru the mail a sort of traveller's packet of information, maps, directions, etc, along with a little treat and lotions, as a prelude to the trip. Like, in a bubble mailer envelope.
Gift envelopes are given to the groom at the end of the reception....now a days one may give them to the bride...if the couple is not available to receive them together, usually when the couple are making the rounds or when guests are saying goodbye...actual gifts are to be delivered/sent to the couple's home address, or the address of their parents...either side. You do NOT bring a gift to the reception....and you send the wedding gift just before the wedding itself. This renders a gift table as useless...
BTW, to assign a 'watchdog' to stay by the gift table to insure none of the gifts take a stroll is insulting to the guests-it implies they are a bunch of thieves and kleptomaniacs that need to watched carefully lest they develop sticky fingers.......
If asked you decline...you are guest. Period.
👍 120 | 👎 6
At most weddings I've been to, there is someone at the gift table. They're not so much 'watching' the gifts, but they're usually there to remind people to sign the guestbook, which is also usually at the table. After the reception starts, the person that's been manning the table can join the party - at that point, the room is full of people, and it's unlikely anyone is going to poke around at the gifts, or walk off with anything.
👍 112 | 👎 3
the reason is that people steal. When the person watching the table eats, things may be stolen. Anyone with any knowledge of etiquette knows that one should not bring a gift to a wedding. The gifts are sent after the invitation is received to the address on the invitation. If sent after the wedding it is fine and they are sent to wherever the couple live or if ordered from the registry, the registry store has the address requested on file.
👍 104 | 👎 0
I have never heard of such a practice, but the weddings I go to, guests either give a cash envelope which the groom puts in one of his many pockets, or gifts are sent to the home ahead of time. I think it kind of strange ti have a table for gifts. Then how do you get these home? A car can fill up very quickly. I always give cash but if I were to buy something, I would send it ahead of time to the home.
👍 96 | 👎 -3
I suppose she fears theft, and it does happen.
Still, it's not a guest's job to work at the wedding. She could always hire someone.
Most people don't have security at their wedding. They just hope for the best. If you plan an intimate wedding, you really only need to worry about venue staff.
👍 88 | 👎 -6
There may be an element of "gift-protection" there, but it may just be that she wants someone there to properly welcome everybody in. You can't usually get around everybody at your wedding, so having someone else to greet people could be their way of helping with that.
👍 80 | 👎 -9
ohhh there are many precious wedding gift yew should follow this link coz its perfect for yew
👍 72 | 👎 -12
Originally Answered: 2 Qs. Wedding Color and Bridesmaid & Groomsmen Gifts?
I personally love maroon. Even a dark red color would be lovely. If it is a more formal affair a nice champaigne color or rich brown would be awesome. I'll see If I can find any links to show you what I mean.
As for gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsmen, it depends on what you can afford, but Things Remembered is always awesome for personalizing anything from a small keychain to a shotglass for the drinker in the group or flasks for the men. I found a nice compact for the girls (on sale too!) that can be personalized. If you don't want to spend that much, maybe a $15 or $20 gift card (to help with whatever purchase they may want to make, but not outrageously expensive) to Victoria's Secret for the girls and maybe something like Brookstone or Sharper Image for the guys.
Another way to go about the gifts is to get something that they all can wear for the wedding. Maybe get all the girls matching necklaces or earrings or bracelets and get the guys all some cufflinks with a cool design on them.
(OK, links provided are for colors, not dress style, and everyone seems to love deep purple so I added that in too! Also the last links are a couple of ideas for gifts.)