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I dont under stand how my mom picked a child molester over her kids?

I dont under stand how my mom picked a child molester over her kids? Topic: How to write a check for kids
June 20, 2019 / By Aherne
Question: Well, my mom met this guy named "Ben" and in like 3 months they got married, i really liked this guy and thought he was funny and thought he cared about all of us. But then a nightmare happened.....i kept seeing my step dad in my room at night, and i just thought he was checking up on us. Then we moved to a new house and we each had our own bedrooms, i felt somebody touche my boobs in the middle of the night. And anyways, found out that he was doing this to my sister too. But he did way worse things to her. One day my mom caught him in my sisters room and asked what he was doing and he said he thought he smelt a fire. My mom asked if anyone has ever touched me, im 17 right now. We live with my dad now a state away. Hes been charged now with alot of stuff, he admitted to doing something to my sister, and my mom is still with him. But i really do feel that she loves me........and its hard for me to deal with it. His trial is coming up in february, does she really love me? At all?
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Best Answers: I dont under stand how my mom picked a child molester over her kids?

Susan Susan | 1 day ago
Okay, this is a tough one...first of all, three months is a really short period of time to be with someone before getting married; especially with children involved. You and your sister are probably NOT his first victims. Sexual predators tend to look for single moms with kids and move into their lives quickly. I am positive that your mom Does Love You. She probably has codependency issues...look that up on the net, adult lonliness issues, etc. It is very wrong that she is still with him. I am really glad that you and your sister are living with your dad and are out of harms way. Are you guys getting any counseling? I would highly recommend that you do. It's okay to feel angry and hurt with your mom for staying with "Ben." I certainly would be! It was very brave of you to write on here and ask for help. Keep talking to anyone you trust. It really will help. Try writing your feelings down in a journal that you can hide really well. If you like doing art, express your feelings that way. If it is safe to do so, tell your mom how you feel and ask her why she is choosing to stay with a child molester...maybe have someone you trust with you if you do this. I sincerely hope you get help to get you through this really awful time in your life. Please know that it does get better. There are people who can help you if you let them. You are definitely NOT alone. Hugs to you and your sister... Joy
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Susan Originally Answered: I dont under stand how my mom picked a child molester over her kids?
Okay, this is a tough one...first of all, three months is a really short period of time to be with someone before getting married; especially with children involved. You and your sister are probably NOT his first victims. Sexual predators tend to look for single moms with kids and move into their lives quickly. I am positive that your mom Does Love You. She probably has codependency issues...look that up on the net, adult lonliness issues, etc. It is very wrong that she is still with him. I am really glad that you and your sister are living with your dad and are out of harms way. Are you guys getting any counseling? I would highly recommend that you do. It's okay to feel angry and hurt with your mom for staying with "Ben." I certainly would be! It was very brave of you to write on here and ask for help. Keep talking to anyone you trust. It really will help. Try writing your feelings down in a journal that you can hide really well. If you like doing art, express your feelings that way. If it is safe to do so, tell your mom how you feel and ask her why she is choosing to stay with a child molester...maybe have someone you trust with you if you do this. I sincerely hope you get help to get you through this really awful time in your life. Please know that it does get better. There are people who can help you if you let them. You are definitely NOT alone. Hugs to you and your sister... Joy

Rahab Rahab
Oh God. Honey, I'm so sorry this has happened to you... and I'm very sorry for your sister too. How old are the both of you if you don't mind telling? If I were your mother I would have left him the very minute I began suspecting anything, much less after he's actually being charged with something. They say "love is blind," but when it comes to this she needs to OPEN HER EYES. Her children should ALWAYS come first. Yes, she DOES love you very much, I know she does. She's just scared and confused, and making the WRONG decision. She will come around eventually.... I would guess that deep down she feels responsible for bringing this guy into your lives and she just can't admit to herself that he could really do that, because that would be admitting that she somehow caused all this to happen. Just give her time... I hope that you and your sister are getting counseling.... I also hope you know that not all guys are sick like that, there are some beautiful men out there, you just have to CHOOSE WISELY. If anything good comes from this then I hope it is that you and your sister have learned some things to look out for when choosing a boyfriend.
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Melody Melody
Your Mom is seriously co-dependent, just can't be without a man to take care of her. My niece and nephew were both molested by their father. Niece, from the time she was 7 until she was 13. Nephew had it happen only once at age 11 but did the right thing, called the cops as soon as his " Father" left the house. The pervert is now doing 25 years to life. My nephews Mom ( my sister) blamed him for sending " Daddy" to prison. As a result my nephew came to live with my family 5 years ago when all this happened. He's been a fine addition to the family. My 3 sons and he all consider each other brothers as my wife and I look at him as a 4th son, a gift from God. My sister refuses to have any contact with him because he sent her " Husband and your Daddy" to prison. In her eyes it's all my nephews fault. Never put any of the blame on her so called husband. As for my niece, she's still at my sisters and pregnant with her 2ND child by two different guys. I urge you to get counseling. Your Mom may very well love you but in my eyes any women who puts a child molester ahead of her own children has more problems then I can phantom. I'm glad your with your Dad and away from your mother. This is the best thing for you and your sisters. God Bless
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Leia Leia
I think it kind of struck her hard that he was doing thoes things to both of you because she probably felt like she had trusted him and he just let her down and this must of been a big thing for her, but in the fact that she let you both go live with your dad really shows how much she loves you both because she cared enough to send you somewhere safe. I dont know why she is still with the guy, personally I would have been out of there and in another state before he could even say goodbye. I think its really hard for parents to get over the people they loved because they think that they are parents now and they need to have thier life all together and not messed up. I think they cant face the fact that they think failed at something. For now, just be glad that you and your sister are safe, and maybee if you see her at the court house, if you go, you can talk to her about it, at first, it may not feel like she's listening but trust me she is. There is no doubt in my mind that she still loves you both. GOOD LUCK!!!!!
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Jonette Jonette
Honey I am so sorry...Please know that you did not do anything wrong and that none of this is your fault in anyway. Why a mother would pick a man over her kids is something I could not answer! It is something that I could not do!!!!!!!! Your mother loves you she is just confused right now. Maybe she has self esteem problems and don't think she can find someone else? Hell honey I just don't know what to say why a woman would do this! PLEASE KNOW YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. GOD BLESS you and your family.
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