What makes your husband/wife so special to you?
Topic: How to write a quote by someone
July 17, 2019 / By Phebe Question:
Hello all, I have been dealing with a break up of a girl that I dated for 2 years. We lived together, shared a lot of our time and hearts with each other. I would do all the cheesy things that a boyfriend should do, make her lunches before she goes to work, get her flowers just because, write he love poems at least once a week, and tried to be the best boyfriend I possibly could be. To get to the core, I wanted to marry this girl. But unfortunately alcohol had its evil hand in playing to our breakup. I don't drink, but she did...a lot and pretty much every bad thing that could result from too much alcohol did happen. This was the only cause of most of our very rare fights too. Other than the drinking, she was a gorgeous, wonderful, compassionate 22 year old woman. I'm 24 by the way.
In dealing with the breakup, almost all the people I talk to about it tell me the same thing, "once you find the person you are meant to marry, you will know" or "there is someone better out there". Well, I had that feeling from the first moment I met her that I wanted to marry her. The feeling where you are still in a state of awe every time you see her at how incredible she is, and the joy of being able to wake up and see her again. After hearing just about everyone say "there will be someone else", it got me thinking, what makes anyone special? If after a breakup or divorce, someone can always seem to find someone who compares or is better than the last, what makes someone so irreplaceable and special in the first place if we can always seem to find someone else.
I am getting frustrated with the answers I am getting of get "get over her, someone else will come along", when I know with my heart that she was that special person that I was destine to meet, and once she kicks that alcohol problem, she might realize that too.
Best Answers: What makes your husband/wife so special to you?
Marlyn | 1 day ago
My (now) husband and I were friends for three years before we got together. I never though I'd fancy him and we'd end up together, until we did. We didn't date and there was no seduction, we were just there for each other when the other one really needed us and I guess we just woke up to how much the other person meant to us. Sometimes, you just don't know. Sometimes, you don't feel something straight away or feel that that special person is about to come in to your life.
I know it may be cheesy, but below is a quote that I really like
"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
-Louis de Bernieres
You can't wonder around expecting love to hit you like a thunder bold, so don't even think about it. One day, it'll just be there, and all of those lovely things that you do like buying flowers, making meals and writing poems, they'll be the most perfect things in the world to the one who is right for you.
I'm sorry to say it, because i really don't want to cause you any more pain, but if this woman were the right one for you, and you the right one for her, then alcohol, an ocean of distance or the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, wouldn't have been able to stop you being together.
Feel the pain of your breakup, really experience it, because that's the only really way to start to move on from it, and then one day, when your least expecting it, you'll find love again. It could be several years from now with this same one woman, who, having ditched the drink is ready to be what she'd need to be to be in a loving, committed relationship, or it may be someone completely different and unexpected. Either way, you don't need to forget how special this woman and this relationship have been to you, and finding someone who is special in different ways, does not make either woman any less special.
It is one of the many beauties of the human race, our many differences.
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If you believe she is the one, you need to try and get her back. Alcohol is a horrible thing, and I have had experiences within my family with alcohol abuse as well. If she is not willing to get better, you can't make her. Alcoholism is a selfish disease and people who abuse it do not have the capacity to care about anyone other than themselves (at least, that's what I have learned from my experiences).
Try and talk to her, tell her how you feel, and let her know you want to help her. Ask her if she is ready to help herself. If she is, she may agree to go to a meeting for alcoholics. You can attend with her, if she wants you to, and you could both go to couple's counseling once she has gotten herself on track. If she does not want to get back together, or declines your offer for help, unfortunately there isn't much you can do.
It took my family member a divorce, the loss of his 3 children, losing his license and getting fired from his job to start turning his life around, and that was after he spent a night in the drunk tank at the police station. People usually have to hit rock bottom before they realize there is a problem, and if the two of you dated for 2 years, chances are she will realize what she is missing. It just may take longer than you would like it to.
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aww ur so sweet. Shes young...maybe she got scared or she wasn't ready to calm down and have a relationship. Maybe you did too much, maybe you were too much for her. You being sweet and caring all the time probably got on her nerves. Some girls are like that, girls like to be treated like sh**, maybe that's what you forgot to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years...Hes never got me flowers less than 10 times, never holds the door open for me, never says he wants to marry me, never says those cheesy comments :), never makes me lunch before work, no poems. Hes not the romantic type but he does certain things to make me happy and laugh. You don't need to be crazy romantic all the time and you probably called her non stop driving her crazy. When im out with my girls he never calls me, ever. You dropping the marriage bomb probably wanted her to do 100 jagerbombs! You probably freaked her out or shes just having fun being 22!
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Originally Answered: Do i need to follow my wife's special rules?
I didn't even make it through your whole list because the answer is easy. If you are both working you should share the household expenses. If you have money left over after then that it is your's to do whatever you want too with. It sounds to me like she is taking advantage of you. Put a stop to it.