Need advice please.?
Topic: How to write a letter to get your ex husband back
June 16, 2019 / By Sukie Question:
Ok, I just found an email to a girl that my husband used to work with here in our hometown (he's currently overseas right now) and it has me kinda bothered. (i'm guessing she moved after she got out of the service) I'm currently pregnant with our third child and maybe I'm just a little hormonal but for some reason this letter is bugging me. He wrote that he heard a rumor at the new years party overseas that she is living back here and he hopes it's true so when he gets back they can hang out. This is not the first time I have caught him doing this either. The last deployment he was on I was informed by a friend that he was writing to an ex and telling her how much he misses her and wants to be with her... (I have since gotten "over" it and confronted both of them about it) But back to the new email. What should I do? Am I just being overly paranoid or should I be worried? He also asked her to email him some pictures when she wrote back. Please serious answers only.
Best Answers: Need advice please.?
Rachyl | 7 days ago
Hmmm.. i wouldn't worry too much as he's asking you to send pictures.. but then again men can be quite daft. I dont think that you're paranoid at all, but it should be ok for him to have female friends, but there is a limit of what he should say to them. Like, ''i really miss you'' that can't really be right, can it.
When he gets back discuss it with him calmly, dont rant and rave as you may be over reacting and there could be a reasonable explaination. Write down all the questions you need to know and when he gets back, ask him calmly.
Hope i helped xxxx good luck xxx
👍 162 | 👎 7
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Originally Answered: Creationist, you wouldn't take marriage advice from a priest so why would you take science advice from a?
I saw this a few years ago - it's about Critical Thinking...
The best answer I ever saw was Duckphup:
“I think that it is really a matter of 'critical thinking' ability. Religion simply cannot withstand the glaring light of critical thought... it just evaporates... poof. It's very simple, really... even though it's taken me a very long time to figure this out. I have been guilty of 'projecting'... 'anthropmorphizing'. I used to think that 'critical thinking' was an innate human ability. I thought that since I did it, then everybody could do it... and DID do it.
I was badly mistaken. Critical thinking is NOT an innate human ability. It must be LEARNED... and in order to learn it, you must have the capacity... the potential... to learn it. Unfortunately, it seems that most (around 85%) of the adult population of the USA does not even know what critical thinking IS... much less actually know how to actually DO it. Part of the problem has to do with the US public education system... it is designed to create 'employees'... not 'thinkers'. It is even possible to get an advanced college degree... even a degree in one of the 'fuzzy' sciences... and STILL have not heard of 'critical thinking'. Unless you have an advanced degree in one of the 'hard' sciences, it is very unlikely that you will possess any critical thinking skills. In other words, apart from the 'hard' sciences, anyone who manages to acquire critical thinking skills does so IN SPITE OF their schooling... not BECAUSE of it. The rest of the problem seems to be related to intelligence. There have been around 40 studies over the past 80 years which revel a statistically significant INVERSE correlation between intelligence and religiosity... in ofher words, the LESS intelligent a person is, the MORE likely that person is to harbor supernatural (religious) beliefs. Conversely, the MORE intelligent a person is, the LESS likely that person is to harbor religious beliefs. From my observations, the CAPACITY (potential) for learning critical thinking skills does not even EXIST until you get up around an IQ of 125 or so.
While it took me decades to figure this out, religious leaders have been aware it for centuries. The Luther quotes serve as an example of this... but he certainly was not alone in this view:
"Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has; it never comes to the aid of spiritual things, but... more frequently than not... struggles against the divine Word, treating with contempt all that emanates from God." ~ Martin Luther
Religious 'shepherds' KNOW that their 'flock' (sheeple) are scientifically ignorant and incapable of critical thinking. They KNOW that they find 'scientific' sources' to be intimidating and incomprehensible. These puppet-masters KNOW that their flock (victims) will seek their 'knowledge' from 'trusted' sources... the very-same puppet-masters. When the sheeple hear things like 'scientists claim that humans and apes shared a common ancestor, in the distant past', they experience 'cognitive dissonance'... this information is in conflict with the 'truth' that they have believed for their whole lives. So... where do they go to resolve this cognitive dissonance?... Scientists?... NO! They go to their 'trusted' sources... the sources who KNOW that they have been taught WHAT to think... they have not been taught HOW to think. Sources who KNOW that they can lie, obfuscate, misrepresent with impunity... with absolutely NO RISK that their minions will seek out independent, peer-reviewed corroborating information.
Where this nonsense comes from is an INDUSTRY (Christianity) whose BUSINESS it is to create whole generations of adults who are, at once, gullibile, irrational, willfully ignorant, self-deluded, intellectually dishonest, droolingly stupid and hypocritical... and willing to tithe 10% for having their cognitive dissonance held in check through regular doses of holy bullshit.
They do their jobs very well indeed.
Here's the key thing to understand... a 'truism'...
1) religious 'belief'... the internalized certainty that specified myths, superstitions and fairy-tales are congruent with 'reality' CANNOT WITHSTAND the glaring light of 'critical thinking'.
2) over 85% of adult Americans profess religious 'belief'
3) THEREFORE, at least 85% of adult Americans have not applied critical thinking to their religious 'beliefs'.
It sounds like he got out of line in the previous thing with a different girl.( saying he missed her and wants to be with her). That is surely influencing how you feel now about this other girl. It is possible that it is all innocent, also possible that it is not. I would just keep an eye on that ( maybe not tell him you found the email). He may be up to nothing ( its not really wrong to want to hang out with a friend or even see pics). But, keep an eye on him to make sure he doesnt get all crazy like before. good-luck. :)
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In today's society, men and women are in the military and fighting equally in war. If you don't already know this, people who are joined together this way and have a priority to save each others life grow extremely close. They have to because you have to trust the person you entrust your life with. Not only that, but the military teaches you to depend on your fellow officers. Don't be alarmed that this person happens to be a woman. Watch what is happening but don't make a big issue out of it. Hey, ask him if she would like to come over for a BBQ or something and make friends with her and hang out. You have to learn to respect those that were at one point in time responsible for your spouses life. I know it may not seem that extreme to you but it is true. My father is a Vietnam vet and he has a reunion every year with these men and their wives and sometimes their children. The camaraderie is unlike anything I have ever seen. In addition, firemen and policemen have this same bond. They serve together, they understand each other, they understand the same job, and most importantly they are bound together as brothers and in your husbands case sisters.
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First, you have my empathy that you seem to have no friends to discuss this with and feel you have to "find" things your partner has sent etc.
Maybe you could short-circuit all this and, despite being expecting, treat yourself to some enjoyable activities that stimulate you, get you out of the house a bit and feed your soul.
Perhaps join an interesting activity of some sort, new hobby etc.
On the home front: I would look MY partner in the eye if I were in your shoes, and simply ask them outright if I had anything to be concerned with.
If I later found out they had lied they would lose me. I am worth more than being lied to as I don't tell my partner lies.
Best wishes for a sound resolution to this, including offspring No III :-)
👍 48 | 👎 4
My husband and I have an ex of his that wants to "hang out" with us. My husband right off the bat said, NO! He wants nothing to do with this girl.
It sounds like your husband is fishing and that is not a good thing. Asking for someones pictures (especially an ex's) is not a good sign. I really think that you have every right to worry and that you and your husband need some marriage counseling. If he has done this before, I really wouldn't wait around for him to do it again.
👍 42 | 👎 3
Since he has done this before and is repeating then I would say yes you should be worried. Do what you can to prepare a private bank account that he doesn't know about. And be strong....and not paranoid about this...But I see this as getting worse over time and he has children to contend with for the rest of his life as do you. I would put a smile on my face and a brick wall up to my feelings and work on the changes in your life you could very well be facing. Confronting him again is now fruitless....I would not let him know that you know....but make copies of the emails and keep in a hidden place. You see that is intent.....whether he does Hang with this gal, or the last....doesn't matter...he has been thinking about it....and that is the demise of your marriage......by him....His choice.....His heart isn't in the marriage with you....Be strong, be aware and good luck.....work on the private finances....skimp everywhere you can....and save it...
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Originally Answered: I want to publish my book when I'm done with it. Any advice(HONEST advice)?
I'm 13 years old and i'm from a small town too. Very small. And I think if your work is good then yes there is a very good chance you'll get published you just have to believe in yourself and never give up. I'm a writer and talking from experience you might just stop writing this book because of writers block or something, if that happens write a new story with the same concept
I hope this helped :)
And I don't have friends in publishing either, But at 13 I don't think anyone will publish us yet but just keep writing and hey can I read your story? What's it about?