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How can I state this to the judge?

How can I state this to the judge? Topic: Case state aid california
June 20, 2019 / By Luanne
Question: I am trying to move out of state because I live in California where it is VERY expensive. I have three small children and I have raised them since they were born. Their dad walked out on us three years ago, though, now he does exercise visitation. I was a stay at home mom for seven years and dont have much work experience. I can't afford it out here. Their dad even lives with his mom because he cannot afford rent. I can pay my rent for one more month and I don't know what I will do after that. My parents are moving out of state because they can't afford it even though my mom's an Engineer and they said I could live with them. If I stay here, we are always about $1000 short each month even though their dad pays child support and I work full-time. I can't get a second job because I would not have anyone to watch the kids. What can I say to the judge to convince them I cannot stay. The judge is not listening to me. He has filed for custody now and I'm worried. He never even calls the kids unless it's "his day" for visitation. He has two other kids with his girlfriend. And I can't afford an attorney. I have applied for legal aid and was told my case is too complicated and was turned down. The judge doesn't care that we're about to be evicted. They just say that the kids need both parents which I agree with but if you can't make it you can't make it. I stay home every night. My kids do not do sports. I never leave becuase I can't afford gas. My rent for a one bedroom is 1600 and childcare is 1400. I guess having water and electricity would be "having my cake and eating it too". I can't live with my parents. They are moving out of state. "You can't have your cake and eat it too". Why doesn't anybody ever say that to the one who abandons his family? Has everyone lost their damn minds? Thank You Rasul
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Best Answers: How can I state this to the judge?

Kay Kay | 1 day ago
well, I think besides a lawyer, you also need someone to teach you to budget and to maybe cut back on spending too much. Your question and your case is very complex but I do not know all the answers. I was a single Mom and I lived wit my parents and I did without a lot of luxuries. It sounds like you want a lot of things in life and for your kids too. You cannot have your cake and eat it too-that is an old saying. We cannot have it all. Sorry!
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Kay Originally Answered: How can I state this to the judge?
well, I think besides a lawyer, you also need someone to teach you to budget and to maybe cut back on spending too much. Your question and your case is very complex but I do not know all the answers. I was a single Mom and I lived wit my parents and I did without a lot of luxuries. It sounds like you want a lot of things in life and for your kids too. You cannot have your cake and eat it too-that is an old saying. We cannot have it all. Sorry!
Kay Originally Answered: How can I state this to the judge?
The position of the courts is the welfare of the children, which includes allowing children the access to both parents, also the parent with custody must be in a position to look after the children. It is one of the great tragedies of the USA that divorce is so high, and it is always the children who suffer. You appear to be moving into a financial situation where you may not be able to support the children as well as pay the rent to provide a roof over their heads? In this case you may need to speak to the local authorities so that you will still have a home if you get evicted. At least by doing so you can show evidence to the courts that you have tried, which will support your case. One issue I see that will cause you problems is that the court requires that the father has access to the children: if you move out of state this may interfere with his rights of access. Second, whilst a custody hearing is going on the court will require the children who are at the centre of the dispute to remain in the state. You will be at a disadvantge if the father has a lawyer and you do not. You will need to focus your arguments on the children: how they will benefit in being with you and moving with you out of state, and how they will suffer if their father has custody. If your parents are moving out of state, and your parents have provided evidence of supporting your children, and you had planned to move to the same area as the grandparents then a strong argument could be made that you have to move with the grandparents so the children retain those support structures. You can also make a case that the father has not been bringing up the children and has not shown the degree of support to them outside of his access visits, for instance not ringing them up.

Holly Holly
The position of the courts is the welfare of the children, which includes allowing children the access to both parents, also the parent with custody must be in a position to look after the children. It is one of the great tragedies of the USA that divorce is so high, and it is always the children who suffer. You appear to be moving into a financial situation where you may not be able to support the children as well as pay the rent to provide a roof over their heads? In this case you may need to speak to the local authorities so that you will still have a home if you get evicted. At least by doing so you can show evidence to the courts that you have tried, which will support your case. One issue I see that will cause you problems is that the court requires that the father has access to the children: if you move out of state this may interfere with his rights of access. Second, whilst a custody hearing is going on the court will require the children who are at the centre of the dispute to remain in the state. You will be at a disadvantge if the father has a lawyer and you do not. You will need to focus your arguments on the children: how they will benefit in being with you and moving with you out of state, and how they will suffer if their father has custody. If your parents are moving out of state, and your parents have provided evidence of supporting your children, and you had planned to move to the same area as the grandparents then a strong argument could be made that you have to move with the grandparents so the children retain those support structures. You can also make a case that the father has not been bringing up the children and has not shown the degree of support to them outside of his access visits, for instance not ringing them up.
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Holly Originally Answered: Why do people judge you on what bands you like?
well, psychologists have linked the music one listens to and the personality of the listener for many many years. studies have shown that in most cases you will talk and even dress like the bands you like. you may be the exception to the rule, this makes you unique. but that is why people judge. it's not because of closed mindedness, it's because this link has been known for many years and it's what people have come to expect.
Holly Originally Answered: Why do people judge you on what bands you like?
I'm going to be completely honest, I do this. If someone is a fan of Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers my interest on talking to them peaks and collapses. I am also prone to wonder "what is wrong with you?!" if people don't know the bands I like. It's okay if they dislike them but my gut reaction to people who don't know them is completely unfair and biased. I should really stop doing that, it isn't fair but I guess the stereotype that goes with the music you like is something I fall for very easily. Wrong but I do it. It's a stereotype, when someone says they like Hannah Montana and they are not eight years old I imagine the person is very childish, shallow and thinks attitude is cute. I don't think being all self-important is cute. If a man likes Cher I think he's gay, that's ****** up too.

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